The 10K Race of Doom (Part 2! Yay! I Didn’t Die! I think.)
Either that, or I am dead. In that case, death feels a lot like life. Which is stupid because I always thought I’d be a lot skinnier in the afterlife. Or, at least, I always thought I’d be one of those people with visible ankles.
As you may recall from my last blog post, I signed up to run a 10K race – a 10K race which just so happened to be on top of the Great Wall.
You know, that big, huge wall thingie in the middle of China? The one that was built for the express purpose of keeping hoards of marauders out of the country? The one that’s so packed full of ridiculously steep steps that even the marauders who managed to scale the side of it would see the steps and be all like, “Forget this. Let’s go invade Uzbekistan or something.”
Yep, that’s the one.
Why I thought signing up to run a 10K on top of the Wall was a good idea I’m really not sure. I mean, I like running and everything. But I also really like my knees. And I was pretty sure my knees were no match for all those steps.
Even though I did buy myself this fancy new knee brace which, as you can tell, is very high-tech because it has a name with both letters and numbers in it. It’s kind of like a computer. For my knee.
Ooo, S-300!
Like when I arrived in Beijing and found out my hotel had a breakfast buffet with an omelet bar, piles of crispy bacon and cheese platters. Especially since going to the race meant I’d have to catch a shuttle bus at 3:30 AM on Saturday morning. Which meant I’d have to miss out on the buffet and my morning allotment of cheese for the day.
Omelettes! Cheese! Bacon! Cheese!
I mean, I’ve been all about challenging myself this year, but willfully missing out on cheese?
That’s not really like me.
But I got on the bus anyway.Because I may be a scaredy cat, but I always try to finish what I start. Usually, of course, this motto just applies to cake.
Cake!
I can’t say I was feeling too optimistic when I boarded that bus. Partly because it was 3:30 in the morning. And it’s kind of impossible to feel optimistic about anything at that hour.
This is what 3:30 AM on a shuttle bus looks like. Totally depressing, right?
Plus, everyone who got on our bus was really thin and sporty-looking and wearing those little shorty runner-type shorts – the kind of shorts that only thin, sporty, runner-type people can wear as they’re the only type of people who don’t have to worry about their thighs rubbing together too much and starting some kind of fire.
I, on the other hand, require full thigh coverage. You know, because running is hard enough. I’d really rather not burst into flames while doing it.
Preventing fires. One fully-covered thigh at a time.
My fellow racers. Shorty-short wearers and all.
Most of the other runners were fellow foreigners like me. Probably because Chinese people have enough common sense not to sign up for something like this.
Luckily, though, not all my fellow runners were the thin, sporty-looking, shorty-short wearing types.
There were people of all shapes and sizes and ages and athletic abilities. And outfit choices. Including one rather portly gentleman in a panda costume.
If Panda Man can, so can I! I hope!
This made me feel a bit better.
And a bit like I was back in Japan, where it was perfectly acceptable to show up to a race in a full-body furry costume.
Googly eyes & tails. Just another day at the races in Japan.
I opened the pamphlet I had received a month or so ago with my race packet that I had never read. Mind you, I had tried to read it. But the few times I had tried, I would become so overwhelmed that I would start to hyperventilate and pass out a little.
I flipped to the page with the route map on it. And that’s how I discovered that only the first two kilometers or so of the 10K race would be on the Wall. The rest of the race would be on roads – roads built for walking and driving and running and not for keeping out marauding hoards.
The route map... or as I referred to it "The Map of My Pending Doom." It has a ring to it, no?
This made me feel even better.
Or, at least, a little bit less like I was going to die.
What the course map didn’t explain, though, was that the first part of those two kilometers was on a section of the Great Wall that didn’t actually look like a wall. Or really anything too great.It looked more like the Not-So-Great Crumbly Ledge.
Umm, excuse me, but this doesn't look like the Wall from all the postcards.
Sometimes, there would be a handrail or rope to grab on to.
Yay, a handrail! Safety first!
But usually not.
And there really wasn’t much to separate you from the steep drop off the side of the Wall. Besides, you know, all the trees.
No worries. Trees are really good at breaking falls.
You know you’ve had it rough when this looks easy:
Walls! On both sides! And even-ish looking steps. Fahhncy!
I spent most of my time on the Wall drudging along slowly.
The one time I attempted to run, I promptly fell into a drainage ditch. I took this as a sign that I should take it easy.
Drainage ditch or booby trap. You decide.
I stopped a lot to catch my breath and stare at the view.
I chatted with the other ladies around me – fellow Americans who were also living in China.
And I took a lot of pictures. Including lots of photos of me looking really red and sweaty.
It's a good thing I wore a hot pink shirt. Matches my face perfectly.
I actually started to enjoy myself.
It started to feel like I was on a Sunday stroll with friends – well, a Sunday stroll that involved my having to stop every few minutes to cling to the side of a wall.
This is fun. Right, guys? Right?
And seeing as my knees were surprisingly still functioning at that point and road was mercifully going downhill, I pumped up the Katy Perry songs on my iPod and started to run.
Look, a road! No handrail required!
The road wound through tiny villages, past chicken farms and mom and pop shops. Gaggles of villagers gathered at the side of the road to stare at the sweaty foreigners running down the side of the mountain.
Watching the crazy, sweaty foreigners. Even better than TV.
I can’t say I broke any records. (Unless there’s some kind of record for sweating. Because I’m pretty sure I broke that record.)
But I did get a medal.
I won! I won! I won! Or something.
And I totally didn’t die.
I think.
I mean, I’m pretty sure there would be a lot more cake in the afterlife. And cheese platters. And I’d totally have ankles by now if I were dead, right?
Do anything you totally thought was going to kill you lately? Tell me all about it!
Just looking at that drop off the side of the wall makes me feel like I’m going to die! I’m getting virtual vertigo here.
Congratulations on conquering death. I hope it was meant to be and that you escaping the drainage ditch doesn’t mean that your life will become like the movie Final Destination.
Waegook Tom recently posted..Yuba Dabba Doo
Yeah, the woman in front of me was deathly afraid of heights and she was really not enjoying that part. Luckily, I was so excited at having all these English speakers around me to chat with I totally wasn’t paying attention to the fact that I could die at any minute. Hmmm, funny that.
P.S. I’ve never seen Final Destination. Now I think I never can.
Congrats on the achievement! A little disappointing that only a couple of miles were on the actual Wall. I actually hate running (I don’t mind exercising and I am in good shape but running bores me). However, setting a goal and accomplishing it is a great feeling! And you even got a shiny medal for it!
Since this is the Great Wall of China, you can now train yourself to do the 10,000K! (OK, it’s not quite that long but a 10K doesn’t sound so bad now does it?)
Jeremy Branham recently posted..A northern California hiking video and travel guide – Horsetail Falls
Oh, trust me, it was not a disappointment. Those 2 KMs were the toughest 2 KMs of my life. Probably because most of them were completely vertical. I think it took me longer to do the 2 KMs on the Wall, than it did to do the 8 KMs on the road.
I don’t know about 10,000K (is that even POSSIBLE?), but I am planning to sign up for a few half marathons in the States for my return. Hopefully none of them will be on top of walls, though!
That is awesome! I don’t know why I thought it’d take longer. Two hours doesn’t sound that horrible. But then again, you had to fight death to finish, so that’s gotta take something out of a girl… Seriously, though. Very proud of you. BTW, that breakfast buffet looks GOOD. A huge mound of sausages! I hope you stuffed some in your bag for later! And admit it, you totally used taking photos as an excuse to rest every 5 minutes, am I right?
Panda Man: Excuse me, pink lady, why you stop so often?
Sally: I need to take important photos for my awesome blog.
Panda Man: Ch-yeah, right. (or whatever noise pandas make)
And now, a shameless plug to vote for my photo in the Conde Nast finals! See? We BOTH can win. LOL.
James @ Fly, Icarus, Fly recently posted..Unemployed, Alone and Often Confused — And Loving Every Minute
Wow, that really was a shameless plug. You could have at least tried to tie it into my end-of-the-post question. Like, “What has almost killed me? This Conde Nast Travel photo contest, that’s what!” Sheez. But I’ll let it go since you totally promised to take me along on your trip if you win. (You DID totally promise that, right?)
Ummmm. Totally, traveling buddy! Contest ends June 11 so all of Sally’s witty readers, please go and add a witty comment to my photo! Sally and I will send you all postcards when “we” win!
James @ Fly, Icarus, Fly recently posted..Unemployed, Alone and Often Confused — And Loving Every Minute
That’s more like it.
Congratz! you’ve made it! Must be feeling good, right? I feel the same way when I conquered mount Sinai in Egypt, because I’m not a fit person too.
Will you join another 10K race again next time ?
DebbZ recently posted..Poland: A heartbreaking story about Nazi Death Camp
I’m actually planning on doing a couple half marathons in the States after I return this summer. I used to run a lot of races in Japan, but I’ve never run any races in the States before. I’m looking forward to it. Especially since these races won’t be on top of any walls!
Wow. That looks…horrendous. I’m going to stop complaining about my race now.
Carmel recently posted..Healthy White Bean, Avocado & Tuna Wraps
It was pretty horrendous. But in a fun way. I swear!
Awesome! I loved this line: “Most of the other runners were fellow foreigners like me. Probably because Chinese people have enough common sense not to sign up for something like this.”
I remember hiking up Nanshan in Shenzhen on a particularly humid day. One local saw my friend and me and commented, “Wow, foreigners get tired climbing mountains too.”
ChinaMatt recently posted..Just a Facade
Ha ha. Hilarious.
There were a couple Chinese tourists on the Wall while we were doing the race (although, technically I believe the section we were on was supposed to be closed to the public). Of course, the women were wearing impossible shoes and teetering around on the crumbly bits. And they were staring at us like WE were the freaks.
I just took a bus in Bolivia on what I heard is one of the worst (aka easy to fall off a cliff and die) routes. I lived, but I certainly had nothing to do with it. Well, maybe I prevented a heart attack by closing my eyes after the first 30 minutes of hell.
Stephanie – The Travel Chica recently posted..Foto of the Week from … Buenos Aires: Heaven and Hell
Yikes! That sounds scary. I’ll be sure to bring an eye mask if I ever travel in Bolivia! Stay safe, lady!
Pretty much the only thing I have done that I thought would kill me, emotionally if not physically, was finishing up grad school and finally earning my PhD. I actually just did this yesterday… and pretty much for the last month it was touch-and-go whether I would make it through all of the emotional breakdowns and pull my shit together enough to finish. I very much thought that I was at a very real risk of forever breaking my brain, but somehow I managed to write a dissertation, talk about that dissertation in public, and answer lots of questions about it too. I don’t get a shiny medal for my travails, but I suppose I can now pompously append “PhD” after my name should I choose, which has to be worth something, no?
Steph (@ 20 Years Hence) recently posted..China Visa Woes, Oh Noes!
Wow! You have major kudos from me! Getting my Master’s degree was hard enough for me. I don’t think I could ever go for a PhD. Congratulations, lady. Now go treat yourself to something nice!
Or eVen more pompously, a Dr on the front. My sister and brother in law do it when they fly, he sometimes gets upgraded. Who said sexism was dead?
Charlie recently posted..339.3 kms: Rose Bridge-Dalston-Carlisle.
Congratulations, hun. Like I said before, I can’t even run 1K because I’m a big, fat lazy heffer. So the fact that you ran 10K *and* managed 2 of it on the Great Wall, is something truly amazing. Well done!!
And yay for not dying!
Ceri recently posted..Getting Assaulted in Oaxaca City
Thank you, Ceri. I’m sure you could have run it too. The awesome thing about the race was that there were people of all ability levels — some super athletic people who looked like they must run tons of races, along with just your average looking folks who were like, “I want to do that!” It was very reassuring.
Re: Starting fires with thighs (Now you’ll get some awesome spam. You’re welcome.) I am with you, sister. I think if we put our heads together we could totally come up with a marketable smoke detector for women like us. Perhaps to be worn around the neck? In funky designs?
Besides that, I think it’s awesome that you’ve done this. I think about running all the time. In my head I am a runner. I am the person who can eat as much cake as she likes because she will run it off. Life is sweet in my head.
Marie recently posted..7 things my travelling life has gifted to my mothering life
Thanks, Marie! I did feel really accomplished having finished the race. The gold medal certainly helped. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t gold. But who’s checking, really? And, yes, I’ve used the race as an excuse to eat all kinds of cake… and cheese… and bacon… and ice cream.
You are and inspiration! Congratulations!
The funny thing is, I never thought about a race as a way to see new countryside–what a great idea!
So… what’s your next big adventure??
Hmmm…. good question. I finish my contract in China in June & don’t have to be in the States until August. So I have a month (and unfortunately limited funds) to play with. I’m looking into my options now, but I’ll definitely keep everyone updated!
A 10 k with adventure built in! Kudos!!!
Maria recently posted..When a Stranger Calls
Thank you! Yes, it was quite the adventure… but luckily not TOO much adventure or I’m pretty sure my knees would have exploded.
Seriously you’re my hero! A 10K on the GWC!!!!!!! Who gets to say they did that??????? Bravo darling!!!
Andi of My Beautiful Adventures recently posted..Macau: Day 2 (Part 3)
Aww, thank you! It did feel like quite the accomplishment.
Congratulations!
It looks like it was totally worth skipping the breakfast buffet. I think it’s an amazing show of willpower and determination. Finishing the race, I mean. Okay, turning down the buffet too
And that is such a scary, precipitous drop! I don’t even think I could take a picture of it for fear of getting distracted and falling. Good for you for getting that shot!
Also, thank you for posting more people who dress up like monkeys/panda bears/and other stuffed animals. Who started that trend?! Weren’t those people uncomfortable?!
Congrats again!
Daisy recently posted..Wild Spinach and Radish Green Spanakopita
I didn’t actually look while I was taking that picture. I just kind of stuck my arm out & clicked the button.
And, you’re welcome about the photo. I think it’s a Japanese trend as every race I went to in Japan was populated by people in big furry costumes. Once I ran next to an eggplant for 10 miles. And, another time, I was passed by a woman in a sexy Mrs. Claus costume. Now THAT was humiliating. I mean, I know I’m slow… but slower than a woman in a furry red mini-skirt? Just embarrassing.
A giant eggplant? A sexy Santa? Geez. Just thinking about that makes me feel uncomfortable.
Here’s a thought: wouldn’t it be awesome if the Japanese Olympic track team went to London in furry costumes?
Daisy recently posted..Welsh Rabbit with Radish Greens
Yes, yes, it would.
I am starting to walk along Hadrian’s Wall in the UK tomorrow. I don’t think it qualifies as a near death experience though because even though it is very crumbly, you don’ so much walk on it as in it’s general vicinity. I love that you didn’t look at the details until you were actually there- a girl after my own way of doing things (why know beforehand eh?) Well done on your achievement and good luck in your future not-so-near death experiences!
Charlie recently posted..339.3 kms: Rose Bridge-Dalston-Carlisle.
I TRIED to look at the details. Is it my fault if the details kept making me hyperventilate?
Way to so Sally!! It sure looks like a lot of fun. I just ran a 5K at work for fitness week. We just ran around the block. I would much rather run a 10K on the Great Wall.
Ross recently posted..Annular Eclipse – May 20, 2012
Next year maybe you can get everyone at work to head to the Great Wall. I’m sure going to China would make a great team-building exercise!
Wow, that’s fantastic! I can’t say a 10k is really something I plan on doing anytime soon, but I’d probably run that one just for the heck of it. I also wouldn’t have looked at the race map and would have found out while run/walking (or “runking” as my friend calls it) that the whole thing wasn’t on the wall.
Sarah recently posted..Even More Conversations With Ex-Boyfriend
Yes, it was definitely a nice surprise finding out that I was only doing a small portion on the wall. That was plenty enough for me!
Wow what an incredible experience! I hate running but even I would do that…or at least try it and cop out at the half way mark.
Ayngelina recently posted..Disconnecting in Hana
It would be hard to cop out while you were on the Wall, as there was really no way to get down… except with your two feet.
You’re so cool! I really want to do this run now, even though heights make my palms and feet sweaty. Oh, and I’m not really big into running… But it seems amazing! Do you think I can just hug the wall the whole way along that steep drop off part? Or crawl?
Jen Ryder recently posted..Learning to Cook Chinese Food
Yep, definitely can. In fact, that’s what the woman in front of me was doing. She seemed really terrified. (I was also terrified but trying not to think too much about it.)
“is very high-tech because it has a name with both letters and numbers in it” – this made me laugh out loud! haha
i love that people wear costumes when running! it definitely makes it seem less serious and a lot more fun! glad you finished! were your legs sore from the stairs the next day?
i just finished a 70km cycle (the shimanami kaido here in japan) – defs didn’t think i would finish that! but managed to fairly pain free!
Wow! That bike ride sounds amazing. I had friends in Japan who used to do a lot of long distance cycling. I always wanted to join them, but never did. Just one more reason I should really go back! Good for you for doing it!
Good attempt!Congratulation for the achievement! Miss Sally, you can taken up long distance race in future!Running is the best exercise for the health if you can do it, even without paying single cent for it!
Thanks, Mr. Choi!
I really want to do this run now, even though heights make my palms and feet sweaty. Thanks for letting me stopped by.
Just try not to look down too much when you do it — that worked for me!
Congrats on not dying! How many hours did you sleep if you took a bus at 3.30am?
Sonia recently posted..Why GetLunched is an awesome idea
Not much. Plus, I was so nervous, that I didn’t sleep much while I was actually trying to sleep. I made up for it the two other nights I was in Beijing — I think I slept for at least 12 hours each!
Ooohhoohhh I really like the medal! Your bit about bursting into flames had me laughing.
Did you find out Panda man’s time??
Roy Marvelous recently posted..I Had To Cross An Ocean To Realize It’s A Small World
No, he did the 5K & I was gone by the time he finished. My friend who came with me said he was one of the last 5 K-ers to come in. I imagine that panda costume added quite a bit of wind resistance.
Wow, 10k run is definitely something to admire, and that Great Wall looks pretty intimidating too. If that were me, my knees would have already buckled
My knees did surprisingly well despite the fact that I have pretty bad knees. I think it’s because I went slow… that and my high-tech new knee brace!
Rock it, chica! So proud of you for giving it a go! Very glad you didn’t die.
You’ve just encouraged me to look up the Charlottesville Women’s Four Miler website. I can’t sign up til later this month but maybe I will. I’ve only done it once before and miles 2 and 3 are up hill. People lied to me beforehand and said there were no hills!
Heather recently posted..Walking and eating my way through Brighton
Ahhh, 2 miles uphill? That sounds awful. This was the first race I did where so much of it was vertical. Most of the races I’ve done were pretty flat.
Ok, so I’m just catching up on all my favorite blogs. I’m so glad you didn’t die, because I would have totally missed your funeral, or at least your blog post about your funeral.
Leah Travels recently posted..A Second Chance for SoCal
AND I wouldn’t have been able to write my blog post about my funeral as I would have been dead. THAT would have been a bummer.
Good, nice post. You are really brave brave girl. I thank to you because of to get knowledge about this wall. Thanks for sharing with us.
Thank you, Harvani. Glad you enjoyed the post.
Love this post! How many people get to run a scary, no-handrail 10K on the Great Wall? And be gawked at by Chinese locals? And wear a computer on your knee? So much fun.
I have been reading for a long time and loving every one of your Chinese adventures. Thanks for sharing them!
Katie Greulich @ à pied recently posted..Weekend Suitcase–Trumpetissimo!
Thank you, Katie. It WAS pretty awesome.
Add me to the list of people glad you survived the race.
And to the list of people inspired.
Because I just started the Couch to 5K plan. And get this: I kind of like running. Weeeeeird.
Mostly, thanks for the hilarious blog entry.
Jess recently posted..A Trip to the Principal’s Office
Wahoo! Good for you! Another one of my blog readers also signed up to do the Couch to 5K Plan after reading this post. I truly am an athletic inspiration. Wow, I never thought I’d say THAT.
Good luck!