Well, I’m starting to suspect the same thing goes for blogs and their owners.
You see, my blog and I have a lot in common.
Well, as chance may have it, so have I!
My blog posts tend to lack direction.
What a coincidence! I totally lack direction, too!
My blog isn’t particularly popular and doesn’t really fit in with all the other cool travel blogs out there. That’s kind of what happens when you ramble on endlessly about yourself and your couch and cookies and don’t actually write about travelling.
Well, to be honest, I’ve never exactly been the popular type myself. I never really fit in with the cool kids at school. That’s kind of what happens when you’re born without any visible ankles and you find it physically impossible to talk to boys.
My blog posts have also gotten a bit bigger over the past year or so – packing on a few extra paragraphs here and there – to the point where it takes me a really long time to write each one.
And, okay, I’ve gotten a bit bigger, too – packing on a few extra pounds here and there — to the point where it takes me a really long time to get into my pants.
This has kind of become a problem – for both my blog and myself. (So, yeah, it’s also kind of a problem for my pants.)I’ve known for a while now that I need to downsize.
Admitting it about myself was pretty easy. (Mind you, doing something about it hasn’t been nearly so easy. But admitting you have a problem is the first step, right? Now, all I need to do is take about 8 kabillion more steps, and I should be able to fit back into my pants again by Christmas!)
Admitting my blog needs to change has not been nearly so easy for me.
After all, long, rambley, self-indulgent, directionless posts about my couch are just what I do, okay?
Besides, you guys like my blog the way it is.
Just last week I received two comments from readers who were all like, “I never read long blog posts, but I totally read yours.”
You guys make me feel like I’m in that scene in the first Bridget Jones movie. You know the one at the dinner party where Mark Darcy (as played by Colin Firth) comes running down the steps after Bridget Jones (as played by someone who wasn’t me… but, just for the sake of argument, let’s say it was me). And right as you’re expecting him to say something really awkward and awful, he says, “I like you very much. Just the way you are.”
Yep, that’s how those comments make me feel — like you like me very much.
Just the way I am.
Well, I like you guys, too.
Just the way you are.
(But I’d like you even more if you looked like Colin Firth. Is there something you could do about that?)So, yeah, deciding I need to change the way I write my blog hasn’t exactly been an easy decision for me. But, after almost two months of hardly posting anything at all on here because I haven’t had enough time to work on the kind of posts I usually write, I knew it was time to start writing shorter, more manageable pieces. Or at least time to try.
But I’m going to need your help.
Mostly because all of my previous attempts to write shorter posts have totally backfired on me.
A couple years ago, I made a New Year’s resolution to write short, daily, food posts. I had just watched Julie and Julia, and I was feeling inspired. But, seeing as I’m kind of lazy and prone to setting myself on fire whenever I so much as step foot into a kitchen, I decided instead of cooking a new food every day I’d just eat a new food everyday. And then I’d write about it.
Easy, peasy, right?
Well, things were pretty easy at first.
My new project justified my trying out every weird snack food I could get my hands on. And I just so happened to be living in Japan, which just so happens to be like the Mecca of weird snack foods.
But then my pants stopped fitting.
And, before I knew it, I was blathering on for 2,000 words about potato chips. Not that potato chips don’t totally deserve their very own long-winded, blathery blog post. But the whole idea had been to write quick, shorter posts about interesting food items — not impossibly long posts about Pringles.
Even when I pick topics that I really don’t know much about or should not even be allowed to talk about on the Internet, like boys or the Chinese language, I still blather on endlessly.
In order to keep myself somewhat concise, I’ve decided I need to come up with a theme or a topic that I can break into smaller, manageable portions.
Kind of like a diet plan – but for my blog.So to help me think up some themes for shorter posts, I’ve been looking at some other blogs for ideas, and I thought I’d share these ideas with you guys to see what you think.
Mind you, I’m totally not stealing ideas here. It’s more like I’m just borrowing them for a little while. Because we all know my little plan to write shorter, more manageable posts is going to last me like a month — tops. I’m sure I’ll be back to blathering on endlessly about my pants in no time.
Oh, and, just so you know this will not be one of my new, shorter posts. I can’t just go cold turkey on my blather, you know. This is going to be a super long, get-it-all-out-of-my-system kind of post. Just like the binge you go on right before your big New Year’s diet. You know the one where you spend all of New Year’s Eve eating everything in the house and then washing it down with a gallon of eggnog and a tub of Cool Whip. (Not that I ever did that. Besides that one time, that is.)
My Totally-Not-Stolen-From-the-Internet Ideas for Shorter Posts
Idea #1: Daily AnecdotesOne of my favorite bloggers used to post these funny, daily anecdotes about something that happened to her that day, like a mishap at the grocery store or a misunderstanding with someone in her apartment building.
I like this idea a lot, but, to be honest, there aren’t a whole lot of funny things that happen to me on a daily basis. Probably because I really don’t leave my house enough. And, you see, the thing with anecdotes is that you usually have to leave your house to experience them.
The only funny thing I’ve had happen to me recently was when my hot water tank exploded and started spraying hot water all over my bathroom. That was kind of funny. But in an “Oh my God, I’m totally going to die in a puddle of scalding, hot water in my bathroom” kind of way. Not really in an “I should totally write a blog post about this later” kind of way. There’s a difference.
So, yeah, if I did this I’d probably have to leave my house a lot more. And wear pants a lot more. And interact with people, like, on a daily basis.
Actually, the more I talk about this idea, the more this is becoming the worst idea ever. Forget I even mentioned it, okay?
Idea #2: A Weekly DareAnother one of my favorite bloggers does this Monday Dare thing where she dares herself every week to do something new. For most of her dares, she challenges herself to become a better person. Also, her stories are hilarious and usually involve her leaving the house. (Apparently, all the funny stuff happens when you leave your house. I’m starting to understand why people do it so much.)
Again, I really like this idea. (Aside from the whole leaving-the-house-thing.)
But I’m not so sure I want to challenge myself to become a better person. I’ve tried that kind of thing before. I can’t say it’s worked out so well for me in the past. In fact, it usually ends with me becoming a worse person than when I started. (And this is why I can never use the word “diet” with myself ever again. It only ends with me stuffing my face full of deep-fried dumplings and cake.)
Plus, the word “dare” freaks me out. It reminds me of the game, Truth or Dare, which I played at a few slumber parties when I was twelve. Or at least I think I played it at a few slumber parties. I can’t really remember. I think I’m blocking out some Truth-or-Dare-induced-trauma. Someone probably dared me to talk to a boy. I’m sure that didn’t work out so well for me.
So, yeah, this idea is also starting to sound really bad the more I think about it. We’d better just stop thinking about it. Why don’t you just erase that from your head like I did with all those Truth or Dare memories, okay?
Idea #3: Answer Reader EmailsLots of bloggers out there have these regular posts on their blogs where they answer their readers’ emails — kind of like an advice column.
This is probably my favorite idea so far as giving advice combines four of my favorite activities:
- Bossing people around
- Sitting on my couch
- Not wearing pants
See? I think we can all agree that I’d be a natural at this!
The only problem with this little plan is that it would require some work from you.
You see, you would have to send me an email asking me a question.
Also, you should probably be careful about what kind of questions you asked me. For example, you probably shouldn’t ask me any questions about boys. Unless your question was like, “Hey, I’m scared of boys. How can I make sure they never talk to me?” I’d be really good at answering questions like that.
You probably also shouldn’t ask me any questions about being healthy or staying in shape. Unless you want to know how to gain twenty pounds in ten months. I could totally help you out with that one.
Oh, and if you send me an email asking me a question, you should really sign your email with a fun catchy name like they do in the real advice columns. You know, like “Clueless in Cleveland.” Although that would probably require you to move to Cleveland. And I really don’t think you should do that.
I’m totally giving you advice already. I told you I’d be a natural at this kind of thing.
Idea #4: Weekly photo postsAnother popular short post idea on a lot of blogs is the weekly photo post. These posts are often nothing more than a photo with maybe a short caption. Most photo post series also have a catchy, alliterative name like “Photo Friday” or “Wordless Wednesday.”
But, I don’t know, guys.
I mean, wordless?
That sounds a bit drastic.
I mean, maybe you noticed, but I love me some words! Words are totally the best! I couldn’t just cut them out of my blog entirely. After all, words have always been super nice to me. They hardly ever hang up the phone on me and they never say bad things about my lack of ankles.
Besides, why would I be wordless on a Wednesday? That’s just stupid. Wednesdays are like my fifth favorite day of the week! I could understand a Wordless Monday or a Wordless I-Woke-Up-With-a-Hangover Sunday. But wordless on a Wednesday? That just doesn’t even make sense.
Plus, I’ve already posted the photo of my couch on this blog like five kabillion times. I don’t really know how I can top that.
Idea #5: You tell me!Do you have an idea for short posts you’d like to see me write?
Do you know of another blog that has cool short post ideas that I could, umm, “borrow”?
Post a link below!
Do you have some advice on how I can keep my posts short?
Give it to me!
Do you want to plead with me to never change because you like me very much just the way I am?
Do you look like Colin Firth?