How Important is Your Sense of Humor to Your Dating Success?


If you would ask any single person (man or woman) what they were looking for when it comes to a personality trait in a potential new partner the overwhelming majority of them would tell you they were on the hunt for a good sense of humor.

A sense of humor is such a universally appreciated personality trait by both sexes, something that everyone is looking for in someone that they can build a relationship with, and a big piece of the puzzle to your dating success.

No, a sense of humor alone isn’t going to be enough to help you close the deal if the rest of the package you are bringing to the table isn’t up to snuff – but if you have a solid sense of humor (a sense of humor that is compatible with someone that you are already gelling with) your odds of being able to create a successful relationship skyrocket significantly.

Let’s take a little bit deeper into figuring out how important your sense of humor is to dating success and why that sense of humor is so critical in the first place.

Why is Humor Important?

According to a number of different studies conducted in the last five years (including one lead by online dating giant eHarmony) humor is very often the number one characteristic that people are looking for in a new partner – and it’s almost never outside of the top three.

On top of that, people that recognize humor as a very valuable part of the dating process aren’t just looking to be entertained and aren’t just looking to laugh. A great sense of humor is recognized as an extension of having rock solid communication skills (you have to know how to connect with people to make them laugh) but it’s also seen as a sign of confidence, intelligence, and a general ease around people that those lacking a solid sense of humor struggle with.

We are all looking for confident partners, intelligent partners, and people that are just sort of easy and comfortable around us and others. It’s easy to see why humor plays such a big piece in the world dating when you look at it from this angle.

Different Types of Humor Speak to Different People

Psychologists are starting to explore whether or not there are different “humor compatibility languages” that certain people are looking for in romantic partners when they are dating.

The whole idea is that humor is such a broad spectrum that ranges from physical humor, self-deprecating humor, wacky and almost slapstick humor, a darker sense of humor, a cleaner sense of humor, and a more sarcastic sense of humor – just to scratch the surface.

Different people respond to different senses of humor in different ways, and it’s starting to look like it’s not enough just to have a good sense of humor but that is really valuable to have a “humor flexibility” that can play across all of these different humor compatibility languages or to focus on a type of humor that your romantic partner response to most.

The only way to figure out whether or not you have a compatible sense of humor is just to spend time with one another and see how things play out. If they are he-hawing about something that you don’t find funny at all (or vice versa) the odds are pretty good that your humor compatibility is pretty low. But if they have you laughing nonstop (even when you didn’t expect yourself to) your odds of success dating one another skyrocket significantly.