Trust is the ultimate component of strong relationships. This takes time and honest effort to build and maintain. Once it has been broken, it is next to impossible to get it back between two people. One of the main means of breaking trust is through cheating on a partner but there are other ways to betray someone:
- Consistently being unavailable in times of need.
- Breaking your word regularly.
- Being secretive.
- Keeping feelings withheld.
- Being manipulative or dishonest.
Having trust broken will lead to feelings of shock, hurt, and can lead to the potential for a break-up of the relationship. You will definitely view your partner in a new light.
How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship
When relationships are valuable and there are strong feelings involved, a betrayal of trust can be devastating but doesn’t need to be the end. There are instances where it’s important to find ways in which the trust can be rebuilt in an effort to keep that person in your life. But how can you do that?
Reason why the betrayal took place, what the motive could possibly have been for breaking trust. There are instances where people lie when they simply have no other recourse and aren’t sure what else they can do. It doesn’t mean this is the right thing to do, but it allows you to see things from their perspective in order to consider what you may have done given their position. They might have betrayed you as a means to self protect or perhaps they were trying to save you from bad news. You need to gain clarity that this type of thing is not okay but understanding their motives will allow you to rebuild trust.
One of the biggest things that needs to take place after trust has been betrayed is to talk with each other about the situation. There needs to be specific time set aside in order to discuss why breaking your trust has you hurting and precisely how this has made you feel regarding the relationship. They need to understand what it is going to take for them to begin to rebuild the trust again. Listen for their sincerity as they speak and allow them the time that they need to explain their motives. If you find yourself being too upset or emotional to participate in the communication in a productive way, stop the talk and come back to it when you’re able to do so in a healthy way. It may take several times of discussing the situation to begin to come to a point where rebuilding is an option.
When there is really value within relationships and love for a partner, forgiveness is going to be necessary following a betrayal of trust. You may need to not only forgive them, but there may be a need for self forgiveness. There are times when you feel blame for a break in trust allowing for self-doubt which can stifle the recovery process. It’s important for you and your partner to understand that forgiveness is not approval. What they did was not ok. This is an opportunity for everyone to hopefully grow from the break in trust and learn from the mistake.
Once you forgive, putting the betrayal in the past and deciding to move on with your partner, it needs to stay in the past. Relationships won’t survive if the past is continually brought up in future arguments. Moving forward shows strength and conviction in the love and devotion that you have and there’s no room for old baggage.