Letting go of relationships is one of the most emotional things in the world for someone to go through. Closure can be difficult when what brought the ending is unclear.
Unfortunately, many have to go through this one or even a couple times within the course of life. Moving on to find a semblance of joy and happiness proves to be almost impossible when there have been strong feelings involved in the relationships. What can you do?
How To Move On From A Relationship
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” – Hermann Hesse
It is in the letting go of a love that you can find your greatest strength and develop your character. When you see that feelings are not being returned, it is within your best interest to move on to someone who will share in the love that you have to offer. Relationships need to be mutually fulfilling. How do you move on? There are several steps that you should follow.
It is critically important that all contact with the person that broke relationships with you stop. There can be no self healing if you continue to keep these people close to you. Remove phone numbers, pictures, contact information, and all else that has to do with them from your access. This isn’t going to delete them from your memory, but it will disallow you from being able to contact them at your weakest moments.
Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. This is something that a lot of people tend to try to avoid. It’s truly essential to not internalize as a means to be ‘strong’ but rather allow the emotions to be experienced until they are no longer there. The longer that you hide from the feelings, the worse they will become and the longer healing will take.
Stop with the Fantasies
Once the internal healing begins, there will be the temptation to fantasize that things may be able to change as you reflect on the memories. You begin to believe that things could possibly work out which deep down you know is not the case but merely the brain avoiding pain. It is crucial to maintain clarity and understand this is part of the healing process.
This is the point where you reach the heart of what was actually wrong with the relationship and want to bring closure to the wound that was left internally. In order to do so there needs to be forgiveness.
It may not be entirely the other person’s fault but, either way, it is simply a matter of repeating an affirmation of ‘I forgive you’ towards yourself and towards that person as well as ‘my pain is my own’. This effort of apologizing and forgiving will bring peace, comfort, and healing to your wound.
Relationships coming to an end is equivalent to going through a grieving process. You need to allow yourself that grief. Through this loss, there will be denial along with isolation and anger as well as bargaining, a period of depression, and then acceptance. These are the normal steps that coincide with a person’s grief.
It’s important to remember that everyone is going to experience their loss in a variety of different ways and allow yourself the time and patience to do so in the proper way for you.