Anyone that’s been involved in a long-term relationship can tell you that there’s nothing simple or straightforward about making these connections work, especially over the years and years (or decades, even) of being together.
A lot of folks are under the impression that longer term relationships get easier as time goes by but that very frequently isn’t the case. There’s a lot of potential for complacency and taking important people in your life for granted when you are with someone for an extended amount of time, a lot of potential to start seeing them as an extension of yourself rather than the person that you fell in love with at the start of your relationship.
To help you learn how to build better relationships (more successful relationships) we’ve put together this quick guide.
Lean Into the Hard Work
The very first thing you’ll want to do if you’re serious about creating successful, more loving, more open relationships in your life is to understand – right out of the gate – that this is going to be a day to day process with quite a bit of heavy lifting involved.
No relationship is all sunshine and roses, particularly romantic relationships where you are spending a lot of time with one another – maybe more time with each other than anyone else. There’s going to be ups and downs, there’s going to be difficult times, and there are going to be seasons of your life and your relationship where things just don’t feel like they are working the way you’d hoped they might.
Far too often in today’s modern world people throw in the towel when things get a little rough and a little rocky, expecting romantic relationships to unfold like the Disney movies we saw when we were growing up.
If instead of taking that idealized look at relationships you choose to appreciate these challenges for what they are – an opportunity to learn and grow with one another, an opportunity to deepen your love and connection with one another – your odds of successfully navigating these ups and downs skyrocket significantly.
Be More Vulnerable
Each and every one of us speaks a completely unique and distinct “love language” that may or may not match perfectly with the person that we want to spend our lives with. But it’s important to recognize this, to understand that there can be conflicts here, and to open up and be more vulnerable in these situations rather than throwing up walls to guard your own feelings.
To many people these days are afraid to feel hurt, are afraid to express their anger more their disappointment, and generally want to avoid conflict at all times when it comes to communicating with someone they are in a relationship with.
You need to have vulnerability, you need to be able to express yourself and how you really feel, and you need to create a relationship and boundaries that work for both of you.
You need to make sure that the mutual respect is there to feel comfortable telling each other when things are going a little bit sideways, getting out ahead of these issues before they become major catastrophes – clearing up the speed bumps before they become relationship roadblocks.
Focus on these core fundamentals and you’ll find it becomes a whole lot easier to build the kinds of relationships that we all deserve. Loving, honest, and passionate relationships that add to our lives rather than detract from them.