Everyone’s been there – you’ve been dating a guy for a while, things seem to be going really well… and then all of a sudden, he pulls away.
Did you do something wrong?
And most importantly, is there any way of saving what you had before it’s too late?
First off, it’s important to mention that there’s no definite reason why a man might pull away when a dating situation is going well. It’s most likely something to do with him, although there’s a slimmer chance that something you said or did didn’t sit well with him. You might never find out the reason for his actions, but the tips below offer some direction for you to follow if it happens to you.
Here are 6 pieces of dating advice for when he pulls away:
It’s far too easy in a situation like this to panic and pursue your love interest to levels that bordering on being stalker-ish. As much as you might want to repeatedly message him asking if he’s okay, what’s up, and why doesn’t he want to talk, the best thing to do is to hold off until you can rationally think things through.
Give him space
This comes hand-in-hand with not panicking. It’s easy to think thoughts along the lines of, ‘What if I stop talking to him and he never talks back, and we end up never speaking again?’ but you’re perfectly able to ignite conversation again – once you’ve given him some alone time. It might be that he needs space to think things through, whether it’s about your dating situation, or a personal issue that he doesn’t want to share just yet.
Let him know you’re there for him
This doesn’t mean messaging him day and night (see point 1). Simply sending one message that says, ‘I’m here for you,’ is more than enough for now. Then step back, give him his space, and wait for things to naturally evolve.
Divert your focus to yourself
You might have felt deep feelings for this man, but remember, life will go on no matter what the outcome of this relationship is. Take some time to focus on yourself; go out and do the things you enjoyed doing when you were single, and see your girlfriends for a guaranteed pick-me-up.
Prepare yourself for the worst
There’s no denying that if he’s suddenly pulling away, that’s never a good sign in the dating game. You need to prepare yourself for the worst – the idea that he might be stalling for time before breaking up with you – and get yourself ready for handling the rejection. Break-ups are never nice, and the more prepared you can be in advance, the better you can help yourself through.
Check in after a week
If you haven’t heard back from him after a week, it’s time to check in. Keep your tone calm and non-aggressive, and try not to let your emotions take over. Remind yourself that no matter what happens, you’re going to be fine. You’ll bounce back from it like you always do.