Confessions of an Online Dating Drop-Out

March 27, 2017

Confessions of an Online Dating Drop-out / Unbrave Girl

“Just think of all the stories you’ll be able to tell,” my friend said, leaning across the table at the bar. Our other friend nodded enthusiastically over her spinach artichoke dip.

This wasn’t the first time in the past three years since moving to Michigan that my friends had attempted to get me to sign up for online dating.

But it was their most successful attempt. Later that weekend, I pulled out my credit card and signed up for a popular online dating site.

I mean, STORIES, you guys! I will do pretty much anything for stories! Weed rice paddies in Malaysia! Hurl myself down an icy luge shoot! Camp in the woods by myself with bears! Pay cash money so I can look at blurry selfies of random strangers with their dogs/kids/speedboats on the Internet!

I’m sure if you’re a regular reader of this blog (or were a regular reader of this blog back when this blog was actually regular), you’re probably like, “Umm, stories, Sally? What stories? Because it’s been over three months and you haven’t posted a thing. WE WANT STORIES!!!”

Umm, yeah… about that.

In the two months since signing up for the online dating site, I’ve been on a handful of dates. And absolutely none of these dates were what I would consider “story-worthy”. And this is coming from a girl who has been known to write entire blog posts about split pea soup. So my definition of “story-worthy” is pretty broad.

There was the man ten years my senior who told me that if I were his sister he would be worried about my camping alone. To which I really wanted to respond, “Umm, wouldn’t you be more concerned about the fact that your sister is out on a date with her brother?”

There was the college professor who corrected me on my use of the word “artisanal.” Admittedly, he was right and I was wrong, but, umm, here’s one way to really annoy an English teacher while you’re on a date with her: correct her English.

There was the guy who called his recently deceased dog “The One.”

And, then this past weekend, I drove an hour to sit in a loud sports bar, eating a soggy panini across from a man who detailed the long list of foods he refuses to eat including tomatoes, onions, peppers (especially green ones), dark chocolate, blue cheese dressing and pretty much every food ever.

Meanwhile, the list of foods I would rather not eat includes exactly two things: sea urchin and puffer fish. Mind you, I’ve eaten both of these things in the past because JAPAN, you guys. And I would totally eat both of these things again if a kindly Japanese person was sitting across from me expecting me to eat them.

So, yeah, me and Mr. I Hate To Eat Totally Rational Foods That Don’t Come Out of Something Spiky and Potentially Poisonous From the Bottom of the Sea?

We did not exactly hit it off.

The next day I cancelled my online dating membership and hid my profile even though I had another paid month of meeting bereaved-dog-lovers and picky-tomato-haters to go.

Sure, maybe, I could have met someone really great in that month — someone who wouldn’t dish out creepy brotherly advice on my solo camping tendencies or correct my adjective usage.

My friends have told me that it takes time to meet someone. It’s a numbers game. You have to kiss a lot of frogs, they say.

I wish that’s all it was.

I could TOTALLY kiss frogs. I mean, you guys, I once ate a frog the size of a rabbit in Malaysia, and it was delicious.

So kissing frogs?

No problem.

But eating one more soggy panini while trying to pretend I care about some guy’s aversion to tomatoes because “It’s just the texture, you know?”

No, thanks.

Also, sir, talk to me about “texture” after you’ve eaten a sea urchin, okay? I mean, have you even seen a freaking sea urchin? It’s basically like this big squishy glob of snot inside a poisonous porcupine that lives in the ocean.

So, with all due respect, sir, you don’t know a thing about texture.

 

Have you tried online dating? Were you successful? Or did you WANT TO DIE THE ENTIRE TIME? I’m asking for a friend…

82

I've blathered on long enough! Now it's your turn!

  1. On March 27, 2017 at 11:17 pm Jen said:

    So glad you’re back! Sorry to hear you haven’t enjoyed your online dating experience. I hear ya on the festival of frustration that situation can be. I still partake for entertainment sake, but rarely actually go out with anyone. Are there any activity based singles groups? I often have much more success meeting people doing things I like to do. Have you looked at meetups in your area? You could start one!

    • On March 28, 2017 at 7:32 am Sally said:

      I also would much rather meet people in person. That way you know there’s both an intellectual and physical connection. The thing is I do TONS of things where I’m meeting other people — community events, arts activities, camping and hiking, and I recently signed up for a comedy class. But the only other single people I meet doing those things are other single women. Which is great because I could use more single lady friends. I just don’t know how much single guys (at least the single guys in my area) are out doing stuff by themselves. And when I talked to the guys I went out on dates with, the majority (3 out of 4) didn’t seem to do much socially on their own. In fact, the last guy I went on a date with told me he never did anything on his own and the main reason he was looking for a girlfriend was so he’d have someone to go do stuff with. I was like, “Umm, yeah, nope.”

      • On March 28, 2017 at 4:02 pm Laura said:

        Hi Sally,
        Thanks for this article. I find exactly the same thing. There are plenty of women out there doing things on their own but never men. One day I will give up and try setting up a commune instead!

        • On March 28, 2017 at 9:03 pm Sally said:

          I know, right? I felt the same way about solo traveling. Everyone makes such a big deal about women traveling alone, and I was always like, “But I only ever see other women traveling alone!” I can honestly count on one hand the number of male solo travelers I met while traveling, where as I met oodles of brave solo lady travelers.
          And please let me know when you set up your commune. I will happily be a resident!

  2. On March 27, 2017 at 11:18 pm Jenni said:

    Sea urchin in itself is a great story. And you’re so right about the texture. I’m pretty sure that’s a one and done food trial for me. I always enjoy how you tell it like it is!

    • On March 28, 2017 at 7:35 am Sally said:

      Yeah, I’m glad I ate it. But no more. (Unless, of course, I have kindly Japanese people looking at me expectantly. Apparently, I will eat ANYTHING if that happens.)

  3. On March 27, 2017 at 11:35 pm Jessie Voigts said:

    I will miss your dating stories. wait, there were so few. you’ve shared them all here. ONWARD! Glad you’re back writing! xo

    • On March 28, 2017 at 7:36 am Sally said:

      I’m sure you will, at least, miss the photos. As will I! I mean, who could forget “Guy Who Doesn’t Know How Selfie Sticks Work.” Or “Guy with Dog Butt.” So many winners!

  4. On March 27, 2017 at 11:45 pm Lisa said:

    SALLY! YES! I did the online dating thing. The first time I tried eHarmony along with a few coworkers (for fun, right?) and I filled out their abysmally long questionnaire and then it came back with the message in a pop up window that said (are you sitting down?) “NO MATCH FOUND” For real. Guy at work thought that was really funny and so for the next several years he would mutter “No match found!” if ever I had an idea in a meeting or wherever and no one liked the idea.

    I did try the online dating with other sites (this was back waaaaaay before Tinder). I did it for awhile and felt wildly popular at first (because MEN WERE TALKING TO ME!) and it was exciting and intriguing and…then we met in person and it’s exactly like your soggy panini experience you describe. One guy, in fact, actually lied about his age and height on his online profile and I will always wonder to this day, “DID YOU THINK I WOULD NEVER FIND THAT OUT?”

    The third time I signed up in a NyQuil fog–I was sick, lying on the couch and watching the Olympic Winter Games on TV–the ones in Torino, Italy–and I was watching those people who cross country ski and then shoot guns. I thought, “What the hell. Let’s give this another shot,” and signed up again. This was my third time trying it out. It was the NyQuil.

    Within five days a Canadian guy who was living in Scotland contacted me who seemed quite interesting. We exchanged very witty and flirty emails and then six weeks later I flew over to Scotland (from the US) to meet him in person, had an extraordinarily romantic week, and then we carried on a long-distance love affair for two years, traveling to all sorts of places and then we got married and had a really awesome coconut cake. So yeah, it can work.

    I said I would never do online dating and I did. I said I would never date long distance and I did. And I said I would never marry a Canadian…actually I never said that. That part’s just a bonus.

    • On March 28, 2017 at 7:40 am Sally said:

      So you’re saying 3 times a charm, huh? This was actually my second time trying online dating — I did it years ago in Buffalo with similar results. Lots of soggy paninis with picky eaters. I think if I do it again I would have to cast my net a bit wider as you did. The majority of the guys who I met in my area seemed a bit too settled and not particularly adventurous. I mean, I need a guy who’s going to keep me on my toes — or at least a guy who’s willing to eat a few tomatoes!

  5. On March 28, 2017 at 12:34 am Priya said:

    I kind of did the online dating thing. But I mostly did the dating app thing. There was the really obsessed guy who wouldn’t stop texting me and then there was the guy who spoke for me and didn’t let me order dessert So, yeah, that.
    Priya recently posted..Punakaiki, the Pancake Rocks, Spiders, & Sunsets

  6. On March 28, 2017 at 3:01 am Kathy said:

    Yep, 17 years ago. Dated a lot and met my husband. Been married 26 wonderful years. I fall in love with him all over again about every five years. We’re very happy!

  7. On March 28, 2017 at 8:52 am Lindsay said:

    Happy you are back! I too despise online dating and have stories from it, and some people now have stories cause of me haha, like the time the hotel bar had those cute suspended swings, that I just HAD to sit in, me and my brand new heeled boots, and when my date walked in and I tried to clamber out of swing I literally failed and gracefully plopped into the floor leading to canter about how if it ‘worked out’ we could literally say I fell for him at first sight) (P.S I was totally sober Dear Lord) but I can’t forget the guy who looked a little like a turtle who took me to the la dI da sushi restaurant (pause here, I LOATHE sushi but wish I didn’t cause it’s pretty and artsy and healthy and gross) and he knows the Maitre d and goes and orders some platter of sushi that includes a PLUM GLAZED EEL) Of course I am then encouraged to eat the EEL and there is no knife in sight, ginormous gooey eel…. and he says Jydt Stick It In Your Mouth which of course should NEVER be said on a first date, so I Fid and I will never eat sushi AGAIN and luckily for me I never heard him say that COMMAND againneither. No wedding bells here! But stories? Oh yes there are those.

    • On March 28, 2017 at 9:32 pm Sally said:

      OMIGOD. Is it bad that I kind of want to sign back up again so I have good stories like yours? Also, I absolutely adore eel, but, yeah, it is not date food. Actually ALL sushi is not date food. There’s always an awkward moment where you realize the big chunk of fish you shoved in your mouth is WAY too big for your mouth but you can’t spit it out and it’s too hard to bite in two and OMIGOD YOU ARE GOING TO CHOKE.

  8. On March 28, 2017 at 9:30 am dawn read said:

    I tried online dating too and found that women in their 50s don’t get too much of a response. Even from men in their 50s. It was discouraging and I felt bad about myself. Recently though I did meet somebody through Plenty of Fish and he is a nice guy and we have started a relationship. I am surprised that it worked out for me.

    • On March 28, 2017 at 9:29 pm Sally said:

      Probably because all the men in their 50s were hitting up the ladies in their 40s. Most of the guys who tried to chat me up were in their 50s, which is kind of a problem for me because I still think I’m about 25!
      Congrats on finding a good guy!

  9. On March 28, 2017 at 9:35 am Ji said:

    Welcome back Sally!!! I’m still a regular reader of your-not-so-totally-regular-blog-lately. I’m afraid of sea urchin.

  10. On March 28, 2017 at 10:16 am Elphi said:

    Sally is back!
    I’m sooo happy! 😀

    … yeah, I’m a regular reader, never-commenter partly because I get the feeling that your regular-commenters are kind of a group of friends I don’t want to awkwardly butt into.

    Anyway, great to hear from you again! 🙂

  11. On March 28, 2017 at 11:28 am Paul said:

    Yay! What a pleasant way to start a Tuesday!

    Good to see you’re still around here somewhere.

  12. On March 28, 2017 at 12:24 pm Lori said:

    Yes. I seem to have the best luck with people who live a minimum of 2000 miles away from me and require mostly a good morning text and the occasional airplane ticket. I don’t know WHY this is, just the experience thus far.

    Not a huge fan, but the alternative requires putting on pants and sitting in hipster pubs more frequently than I can manage.

  13. On March 28, 2017 at 12:36 pm Sandra L. said:

    I’ve been married a long time, so no, never tried Internet dating. But several friends have successfully. I knew a few people who met their spouses that way.
    However, I do have a pen pal who says she was chatting along merrily with someone who seemed perfectly normal–until he informed her that he was immortal.
    So it’s not for everyone.
    You ate a frog the size of a rabbit???
    Anyways, glad to see you are back! I’ve missed you.

    • On March 28, 2017 at 9:25 pm Sally said:

      Oh dear. I did have one guy who seemed pretty normal chat me up for a bit and then he revealed he was a Wiccan, diabetic, insurance agent with two psycho ex-wives and a penchant for talking to the dead. I almost went out on a date with him because, hey, at least he sounded like he had a few stories to tell!
      And, not to worry, I didn’t eat the frog by myself. I was invited to a family dinner, and that’s what they had for dinner. I think, mostly, because they were like, “Hey, what can we eat that is really going to FREAK out the foreigner?” Little did they know that I wasn’t so easily freaked out!

  14. On March 28, 2017 at 1:00 pm Bisa said:

    Yes, I’ve tried online dating and failed at it for over a decade. I sign up get annoyed by the choices and close the account too. I think I have a look of desperation because 90% of the guys who contact me turn out to be fake. It takes about 2 days before their asking me for money to invest in a business or help their dying mother.

    • On March 28, 2017 at 9:22 pm Sally said:

      Oh no! I’m curious what site you used? I did Match, and there were a lot of bogus profiles. They were pretty easy to spot. The profiles were usually only a couple lines and they were copied and pasted over and over again, so you’d be like, “Wait, I’ve read that before.” Plus, the guys were always 5’5″, which doesn’t even seem like a good height to pretend to be as a guy. But I never had one of the fake profiles reach out to me (as far as I know).

      • On March 31, 2017 at 5:48 pm Bisa said:

        It’s happen to me on Match.com. Most recently Interracialdating.com. I thought I knew all the tricks but some profiles seemed to good to be true. I’ve even met a man who liked to dress up as a woman. He said he liked woman. I actually reached out to him because I had questions. Lol

        • On April 3, 2017 at 7:37 pm Sally said:

          I had no idea Interracialdating.com was even a thing. I am intrigued. If anything, I think there would be far fewer Trump supporters on there than there were on Match. That was pretty much my biggest fear with online dating — ending up with a Trump supporter!

  15. On March 28, 2017 at 1:09 pm Candice Walsh said:

    Hahaha, I’ve been online dating since I returned to Canada in June, but have actually only been on dates with three different people. It’s scary out there, man.

  16. On March 28, 2017 at 2:02 pm Ken C. said:

    Yay! Glad to see that you’re back! Hope you’re staying for a while.

    Your sea urchin meal probably had a very artisanal texture–take THAT, Mister College Professor!

  17. On March 28, 2017 at 2:12 pm Aurora Kushner said:

    omg. this post. all of it.
    yes, yes, yes. The blurry pictures, the boring dates, the questions/stories.
    I had a guy tell me about his circumcision at age 14. Seriously.
    I had another guy tell me about how he didn’t like to travel, another who told me he would never do anything alone. All I could think was, what in my profile made you think we were a good match?

    And, I’m still at it… hope springs eternal, or something….

    • On March 28, 2017 at 9:13 pm Sally said:

      I had exactly the same experience — lots of guys who never traveled or really did ANYTHING at all EVER contacting me. I have kind of a theory about that. Basically, they saw that I was really active — I talked about traveling and camping and doing outdoorsy stuff and had tons of super active photos (even a luging one!). And they thought, “Hey, I want to be active, too! Maybe if I date this girl she will force me out of the house!” Which is totally NOT me. I don’t want to FORCE anyone to do anything. I want someone who already likes to travel and do stuff and who would just want to do those things with me. Or NOT do those things — I’m also all about having your own thing and not feeling like the person you’re seeing always needs to be doing that thing with you.

      • On March 29, 2017 at 5:12 pm Aurora Kushner said:

        I kind of have this theory that men who are active don’t necessarily need/want a partner who is active – as they can go be active with their guy friends. And, so us active women are not as interesting to them. However, women who are active – we want a guy who is also active. So — it is tough to match!
        But… Not. Giving. Up. Hope.

        also — so many great stories on here… or sad stories that I can relate to that are funny.

        • On April 3, 2017 at 9:26 pm Sally said:

          Hmmm. Interesting. I did see a lot of guys who claimed they were looking for an “active lady” but after reading through their profiles and looking at their half a dozen half-naked photos, I started to realize “active lady” was just code for “no fatties.” So, yeah, I didn’t bother contacting them because I was pretty sure I wasn’t what they were looking for.

  18. On March 28, 2017 at 3:26 pm RR Gilmore said:

    Even if you did hate tomatoes (gasp!) … WHY would that be the anecdote you chose to share about yourself, much less harp on?? Hahaha … at least you got a good story out of it. 😉

    • On March 28, 2017 at 9:05 pm Sally said:

      Oh, he had other anecdotes. In addition, to hating tomatoes, he also hated dating. Which was a super fun thing to talk about WHILE ON A DATE WITH HIM. Uggh.

      • On March 29, 2017 at 10:22 am Elphi said:

        Oh yeah, I had a wonderful experience just a month or so ago…
        There was this beautiful, smart, interesting guy who wanted to get to know me better (or so he said) and invited me to a thing.
        I drove 1,5 hours because the thing was, of course, in his neighborhood and I don’t have a car, but I didn’t mind.

        He arrived 10 min after I did and the first thing he said to me was: I’m so tired, I had really hoped you would cancel.
        Without jest, he was dead serious.

        … I’m still a bit sad about that.
        And still single. =)

  19. On March 28, 2017 at 4:02 pm kathi said:

    nope nope nope! Did it, just like you and for all the same reasons, but found it so excrutiating. Just once I actually got to the point of setting up an in person meeting. And there I sat, all gussied up, nervous and hopeful. And he never showed. Or worse, he showed, saw me and bailed. I know many people who have found the loves of their lives this way, but I just don’t have the heart for it.

    p.s. yay, you’re back!

    • On March 28, 2017 at 9:04 pm Sally said:

      Omigod, how HORRIBLE! I can’t believe he stood you up. What a garbage-person.
      And, I agree, some of us just aren’t cut out for it. So many of my friends have been successful at online dating, but I just, honestly, don’t think it’s for me.

  20. On March 28, 2017 at 8:01 pm Victoria @ NatureImmerse said:

    I guess when you meet and talk to people from an online dating site, you have less information to work off of. You don’t know their friends and you can’t ask around about them. The only way to overcome this disadvantage is to take your time when getting to know new people.
    Victoria @ NatureImmerse recently posted..Essential Camping Safety Hacks & Others

    • On March 28, 2017 at 9:01 pm Sally said:

      To be honest, if I’m going to meet people via online dating sites, if I see someone I think I *might* click with, I’d rather meet them sooner rather than later. I just feel that by texting and emailing, it’s much easier to edit yourself and be someone you’re not. (This, of course, applies to myself too. I’m MUCH more charming on the Internet than I am in person.) However, if you meet someone, there’s really no hiding who you really are. Plus, you know if there’s some kind of physical attraction or not which is super hard to tell from pictures — especially when the guy is posting blurry photos or photos from ten years ago!

  21. On March 28, 2017 at 9:27 pm Tyler Bradbury said:

    I recommend eating jellyfish. Unlike online dating, it is delicious.

    • On March 28, 2017 at 9:43 pm Sally said:

      I do remember trying jellyfish in China, but I don’t remember if I liked it or not. I’m pretty sure I liked it a lot more than online dating though. 🙂

  22. On March 28, 2017 at 9:53 pm Leslie in Oregon said:

    I have been married since before the advent of the web, so I’ve never been in a position to try internet dating. In thinking about my quite-long dating history while reading this post, I realize that I met the most interesting, intriguing and all-around good men in the classroom or elsewhere on a campus: while studying for my B.A., taking university-level language courses abroad, taking ad hoc night courses at local universities after I had my B.A., visiting my little sister’s and brother’s college classes, and, finally, going to law school (where I met the man who became my husband). To me, it was critical to have the opportunity to get to know, even work with, people in these education contexts before embarking upon “dating” them. Online dating sounds like much too contrived a setting for me, at the least. For what it’s worth, and with best wishes, Leslie

    • On April 3, 2017 at 9:29 pm Sally said:

      Thanks, Leslie. But, to be honest, I’m not all that worried about it. If I meet someone I want to spend time with, great. If not, that’s cool too. I’m pretty psyched about my life the way it is.

      • On April 4, 2017 at 12:59 am Leslie in Oregon said:

        Oh Sally, I certainly did not mean to imply that you are, or should be, worried…forgive me if, in answering your question (Have you tried online dating?), I got carried away. As far as I’m concerned, dating (online or not) is (and for decades has been) an antiquated concept. XOXO

  23. On March 29, 2017 at 8:42 pm Halina Stolar said:

    After I went back to the US after teaching ESL in the Middle East for 7 years, I was single and ready to mingle. Cue online dating. My criteria was “I want to meet someone interesting” because I wasn’t planning on staying in that city (or in the USA) for very long, if I could help it.
    It’s amazing how few interesting men I met. I met one man from Ethiopia who was getting his PhD. At our first date – at Starbucks, of course – he tells me he’s from Ethiopia.
    “Do you know where that is?” I stare at him to see if he’s joking, but he’s not.
    “Of course. It’s in eastern Africa.” And he was so excited that I actually knew! So yeah… maybe he hadn’t met many interesting people either.
    But now I’m happily coupled, living in the Caribbean and trying to buy a live aboard boat. Interesting!
    Halina Stolar recently posted..ARMCHAIR TRAVEL IN 5 PICTURES: Bridges of Prague

    • On April 3, 2017 at 9:22 pm Sally said:

      “It’s amazing how few interesting men I met.” OMIGOD. It’s like you’ve read my mind. I don’t know if it’s because I’m living in a relatively suburban part of the Midwest or because I was trying to be picky and not go out with weirdos, like the guy who was wearing roller skates slung over his shoulder in one picture. But, yeah, NOT interesting. Maybe I should have risked it and asked out roller skate dude.

  24. On March 29, 2017 at 8:52 pm Torre said:

    SO NICE to see you blogging again. “Umm, wouldn’t you be more concerned about the fact that your sister is out on a date with her brother?”

  25. On March 30, 2017 at 6:44 am Jesse said:

    Online dating sucks! Even for gay guys! The guys who contact me are in prison or are 15 years older or younger than me. Or they just want to screw. Nope. And I’ve been doing it for several years.

  26. On March 30, 2017 at 10:58 am Paula, The Geeky Shopaholic said:

    So glad you’re back Sally! And yes I tried online dating. It was not for me. I had really great texting conversations with a couple guys but the actual dates were pretty awkward.

    • On April 3, 2017 at 7:45 pm Sally said:

      I had similar experiences. Our texting/emailing was great. I think, in part, because you can edit what you say. Plus, it helps that I love writing and reading so that part was super easy for me. But then meeting in person was really meh.

  27. On March 30, 2017 at 9:22 pm Charlie said:

    I have to confess I don’t like tomatoes either. I’m not sure it’s about texture though more than a general aversion to fruit? Redness? A gut intolerance? But I do love learning about weird people. It’s a shame you have to pay for it though. Wouldn’t it be good if you could just be seated next to other people who are on Internet dates and get all the weirdness and stories for free. And maybe a non-soggy panini as well. Does defeat the purpose of ‘dating’ I suppose.

    • On April 3, 2017 at 7:44 pm Sally said:

      I totally LOVE listening in on other people’s awkward first dates. In fact, that’s what I kept on thinking while on my awkward first dates. “Is someone listening to us and thinking, ‘Uggh, these people are SO AWKWARD.'” I’d much rather be the date eavesdropper than the one being eavesdropped on. At least, I can leave when I can’t take it any more!

  28. On March 31, 2017 at 3:03 pm Tanya said:

    You should try again, Sally. A couple of weird men is no excuse, unless you are looking for one. How about taking up a challenge to find a man you are comfortable spending several hours with?
    Your friends are right.

    • On April 3, 2017 at 7:42 pm Sally said:

      Nope nopity nope nope. I value my time too much to spend it on more crappy Internet dates. I’d much rather be spending that time doing stuff I enjoy or hanging out with people I know I already like. Besides, one thing I learned from this whole experiment, is that, unlike most of the guys I met, I actually enjoy being single and doing stuff on my own. If I meet a guy in person who I click with and would like to do stuff with, that would be great. But it’s honestly not a priority for me.

  29. On April 2, 2017 at 2:05 am Carolyn said:

    Well, I know it isn’t fun being corrected by your date, but if he was indeed correct about your usage of a word, isn’t intellectual honesty important? Especially if you are both English teachers? Maybe you could have laughed and said, “Oh, right” and gone on. Maybe later you would have noticed something he used incorrectly and told him. All in good fun.
    It seems like the social nicety expectations came up against tools of the English trade, and you wanting the niceties won out. Possibly rethink this? You want to teach your students correctly, I’m sure, so it would be optimum to welcome input….

    • On April 3, 2017 at 7:35 pm Sally said:

      I’m all about being corrected and correcting others while in the classroom. But we were on a date, he was not an English teacher, and he had been pedantic and pretentious the entire time, so his correcting my English (even if I was wrong) was pretty much the last straw. Besides, it doesn’t really matter if I know how to use the word “artisanal” correctly, as my students have even less use for that word than I do!

  30. On April 2, 2017 at 1:54 pm Leigh said:

    Sounds like there are some funny stories buried in there, but I hear ya! My favorite was the guy who sent me his phone # and when I finally worked up the nerve to call him, he answered very annoyed and said he couldn’t talk. Never heard from him again. I guess sending your phone # is code for something other than “call me” – maybe I was supposed to send boob pics?

    If you haven’t already, read Aziz Ansari’s book, Modern Romance – it’s great!
    Leigh recently posted..Chelsea Market Food and Culture Walking Tour

    • On April 3, 2017 at 7:31 pm Sally said:

      I pride myself on being able to get a story out of pretty much ANYTHING. But, I swear, there were no funny stories buried in any of my dates. I really don’t know how dating got a reputation for being fun and story-worthy, but having a conversation with some dude about his dead dog while eating Chinese chicken salad at Applebee’s is really neither of those things.
      And, yes, I love that book! I listened to the audiobook, which was awesome. He’s hilarious reading it.

  31. On April 5, 2017 at 9:13 am Choi Kum Fook said:

    Miss Sally, you were very lucky, had seen a frog as big a rabbit in Malaysia. The biggest I have seen is a kg or two pounds. I liked to catch them near riverside in jungle at night when I was young. Of course the meat is very delicious.

  32. On April 12, 2017 at 7:11 pm Tim said:

    WOW! A lot of people have a lot to say about online dating. I completely understand and can relate to the plight. While not trying to “one up” anyone, I can say that this one is pretty far on the outer limits. While the date was very short, it is a good story. To begin with, I think I am a pretty awesome guy. I am educated, funny, pretty smart, warm, sarcastic and have what most people would consider a successful career. I am debt free and own my own home. No prison time and no family baggage. You guessed it – I am a catch….and humble too. My most famous foray into online dating started with some interesting banter via email, then phone calls and then the big first date. Wouldn’t you know it, the first date was at a local chain bar/restaurant. As soon as we sat down, I noticed someone approaching our table, it was a coworker who was there with his whole family. They said hello and I struggled with how to introduce my date, my online first time we had met, date. After that we ordered a drink and began to peruse the menu. And then she said it…”I need to tell you something and ask a favor”. She leaned in while reaching into her purse to retrieve a small container and said “I am a practicing Wiccan and I made this Mana potion. Will you please drink it so our time together will be successful?” Er uhhh, riiiiiiightttttt. She was serious, quite serious. The next two words out of my mouth were “Check please!” It was an uneasy parting because now I was afraid she would cast some dark arts spell at me for leaving abruptly. And then I got the opportunity to explain to the coworker the next day the delightful narrative, Stories indeed, online dating always yields a story.

    I know everyone gets their turn. I have had many. 🙂 Hang in there Sally….when in doubt, remember we have warmth in our hearts for you….that and a love of the skillet breads of course…pancakes, waffles, grilled cheese, johnny cakes, ho cakes. If you are ever in North Carolina I would be honored to break bread with you in an actual restaurant….as long as you don’t bring any potions for me to drink.

  33. On April 20, 2017 at 12:38 am Kaori said:

    Well, I have a ramen date tonight. Wish me luck. And if all else fails, at least I will have had my ramen 🙂

  34. On May 24, 2017 at 5:49 pm April Kovalevskii said:

    I tried the online dating thing several times. The first time, met a control freak, second a nice but oh so bland man, third a scam artist whose spoofing phone number I gave out to a group of male swingers on Craig’s List (wonder how many times he got hit up by not so straight men?). The fourth time, I was curious about foreign men and wanted to look – had to make a profile. Talked with several paying members, but for sure I wasn’t going to pay for such a site. A Russian, took interest (he wasn’t a paying member either), but I was busy being swept off my feet by an English man. When my Casanova started talking smack about marriage, I asked the hard questions and he blocked me! That’s when I pulled out my credit card, coughed up thirty bucks for a one month membership and told the Russian, if he wanted to talk, write me at my personal email address (no way was I signing up for another month). We hit it off, he came to visit, I went to Russia, twice and brought him back home to the states and married him. We’ve known each other since 2014. Sometimes things work out and other times you just have to give out the phone numbers of bad men to swingers!

  35. On July 10, 2017 at 9:45 pm Rekha Rajan said:

    ha ha ha thats funny. I have always believed that online dating didn’t take off due to two reasons – the two men at both sides of the conversation!
    Rekha Rajan recently posted..Fun things to do with kids in and around Miami beach

  36. On July 22, 2017 at 1:03 am Jade D'sa said:

    Hahaha this was hilarious! Please share more bad dating stories so the rest of us know we’re not alone!

  37. On August 29, 2017 at 4:27 am Greg Dean said:

    I did the online dating thing. As a guy, you should see it from our perspective!

    I am 5’8″. I show up to the date and we sit down and she makes this strange comment, “I thought you’d be taller from your photos”.

    (I WISH I was 6’0″)

    So I reply, “I thought you would be thinner from your photos”. The she gets very annoyed at me and tells me not to body shame her. Whaaaat?!

    I meet another girl. I sit with her. She spends our whole time complaining that, “I used to be able to EASILY pick up personal trainers! But now they only like the young girls, younger than me. Life is so unfair.” Then she goes on to try to interview me, saying that she is looking for a meaningful relationship. Whaaaat?!

    People need to take a step back and relax. Have a good time. Friends first and expect nothing else. And if your date is paying for the date and you are going on a lot of dates, you are living a pretty good life on somebody else’s dollar.

    I am all about connection. Rarely have I found it online.

    GREAT article you wrote!

    • On September 15, 2017 at 6:39 am Sally said:

      I have to thank you for leaving this comment. I was actually seriously considering giving online dating another try and then I read this garbage-fire you left me and remembered why online dating is the worst in the world. “…if your date is paying for the date and you are going on a lot of dates, you are living a pretty good life on somebody else’s dollar.” For REAL, dude? It’s 2017. I have a damn job. Sure, I appreciate when a guy offers to pay for my meal, but I certainly don’t expect it. I also wouldn’t consider sitting and smiling politely through boring stories and condescending comments just so I can get someone to foot the bill for my salad at Applebee’s “a pretty good life.”
      Also, yeah, it’s a jerk-move to make disparaging comments about a man’s height. But, don’t counter someone else’s jerk-move with your own jerk-move.

  38. On August 30, 2017 at 9:49 pm Rene said:

    LOL LOL LOL super funny.

    “It’s just the texture you know!?”

    I just came across your blog and it’s made my day.

    xo

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