Why I Can’t Fit in My Pants Wednesday: Amish Friendship Bread

April 20, 2016

Amish Friendship Bread / Unbrave Girl

I have a new mouth to feed in my house.

Don’t worry. It’s not a baby. That would be bad.

It’s also not a new cat. That would be AMAZING. Until my current cat strangles me in my sleep because she’s not about to share my attention with anyone or anything else. Including my dinner.

Amish Friendship Bread / Unbrave Girl

This is how I eat my meals.

No, this new little bundle of joy is a Ziploc bag full of Amish friendship bread starter. If you’re not familiar with the stuff, it’s basically a bag of bread starter that is passed from person to person hence the “friendship” part of the title. It’s kind of like a chain letter, except it’s mushy and a little bit smelly and there’s no promise of untold riches if you pass it on to your friends in the allotted amount of time.

But there is the promise of lots of bread. Lots of sweet, delicious, cinnamonny bread. Which is pretty much the equivalent to untold riches in my book.

In order to keep the bread starter active and happy, you have to follow a pretty rigorous schedule of daily massages and semi-regular feedings of flour, sugar and milk. It’s all very complicated.

Amish Friendship Bread / Unbrave Girl

Feed me!

You guys, I have trouble enough keeping up with my own maintenance and feeding. Okay, maybe I don’t have so much trouble with the feeding part because GIRL’S GOTTA EAT. But maintaining? Gah! That’s the worst! I mean, DO I REALLY HAVE TO BRUSH MY TEETH AGAIN??? DIDN’T I JUST DO THAT LAST NIGHT???

So, needless, to say I’ve had more than a bit of trouble keeping on top of my bread starter schedule. After the first week and a half of sticking to it, I have since slacked off, shoving the bag of starter into a dark corner of my kitchen counter, trying not to make eye contact with it for fear that it will bring back bad memories of Annabell, my childhood guinea pig, and all the other childhood pets I neglected after the first initial honeymoon period. You know, once the whole wonder of dressing them up in tiny doll clothes started to wear off.

Amish Friendship Bread / Unbrave Girl

This is Annabell in her flamenco costume. Because what? Didn’t you have a flamenco costume for your guinea pig?

The other issue I’m having with my new dependent is the fact that if you do feed it regularly, you end up with a LOT of starter. You’re supposed to pass on the excess starter to friends. But I don’t really have that many friends to pass it on to. Can I just give out Ziploc bags of yellowish fermented goo to people I only kind of know? I don’t feel like that’s really appropriate. Like, “Oh, hey, remember me? From the gym? I asked you if you were using the elliptical? Here’s a bag of bread goo. No, don’t thank me. It’s nothing, really.”

So, until I find more people to give my bread goo away too, I guess I’m just stuck making lots of bread. Lots of sweet, delicious, cinnamonny bread.

I suppose there are worse fates in life.

Like the fate that befell Annabell, the neglected, flamenco-dress-wearing guinea pig.

(Annabell, wherever you are, I’m sorry!)

 

What’s your favorite bread to make? Does it involve feeding a bag full of goo? 

10

I've blathered on long enough! Now it's your turn!

  1. On April 20, 2016 at 4:35 pm Jennifer said:

    Haha, I LOVE the name of this series! The friendship bread sounds a little intimidating to me, but then again…making bread is rather scary in the first place. I’m sure the cinnamon goodness will be more than worth it in the end. 🙂

    By the way: is that the difference between a regular friendship and an Amish friendship? Making bread together?

    • On April 20, 2016 at 4:58 pm Sally said:

      I’m not sure if the Amish in the title is describing the type of friendship or the type of bread. Somehow, though, I doubt the recipe is truly Amish as it calls for a box of instant vanilla pudding… and I doubt the Amish are into making anything with the word “instant” in the name! 🙂

  2. On April 20, 2016 at 5:31 pm Sandra L. said:

    I have had many guinea pigs, but I never dressed them up. However, my good friend Roz made clothes for her boyfriend’s guinea pig back when we were in high school.

    I confess to putting a pair of long underwear on my poodle when I was 11, putting him in a baby carriage and calling him “Murray.” His name was actually Toby.

  3. On April 20, 2016 at 8:05 pm Leslie in Oregon said:

    You might enjoy taking a look at “Friendship Bread,” by Darien Gee (Ballantine Books, 2011. It is a novel about what anonymously leaving a homemade loaf of Amish Friendship Bread and a simple note (“I hope you enjoy it”) with a bag of starter, instructions on how to make the bread, and a request to share it with others, leads to in the small town of Avalon, Illinois. While not very well written (IMHO), this book does tell a story of friendships forged from this gift.

  4. On April 21, 2016 at 9:32 pm Dyanne said:

    You probably don’t want to know this (and most certainly don’t breathe a word of it to Annabell, even if she is deceased) but…

    Here in Ecuador, uh… we EAT guinea pig. It’s called “cuy” here and considered a delicacy.

    Sorry Annabell.
    Dyanne recently posted..Take a Great Leap [Interview]: Patti in Saigon

  5. On April 22, 2016 at 11:39 pm choi kum fook said:

    Amish Friendship Bread? How is the name come from? I think it is wonderful and delicious to eat, since it goes through a very complicated processing when making .May we find this type of bread in confectionery shop in Malaysia? Or you had tasted it in Malaysia while touring, Miss Sally?

    • On April 27, 2016 at 10:42 am Sally said:

      I can’t open your Instagram because it’s private. But I’m sure your cat is ADORABLE if she/he looks anything like mine! Although does she/he bite? Because if not, can we trade? My cat is a Bitey McBiterson.

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