I know I promised you, like, a billion ages ago that I’d show off my new apartment. But I was not quite ready until now. And by “not quite ready” I mean, “I hadn’t spent every single penny I had on stuff I never thought I needed until I saw it in the store and realized exactly what my life had been missing this whole time.”
Alas, now I have no money, and I am the proud owner of a ceramic spoon holder in the shape of an owl that is basically my everything. So I think it’s safe to say I’m ready to show you around.
But I’m not going to show you the whole place just yet. After all, what kind of girl do you think I am? Plus, I get paid next week and I think my bedroom needs about twenty-billion totally unnecessary throw pillows before it’s ready to show off to the people of the Internet. Because isn’t that what you want Internet-people? MORE THROW PILLOWS??? WHY DO YOU KEEP ON MAKING ME SPEND ALL MY MONEY ON STUFF I DON’T NEED, INTERNET-PEOPLE???
That got awkward fast.
Anyway, this week I decided to show you my kitchen. Which I figure is an appropriate place to start as it is where all the magic happens. And by “magic” I mean “bacon.”
It’s also where I start my day and end my day and spend most of my day because it’s sunny and bright and full of food, and really what more could you want in a room?
But before you can come into my kitchen you have to pass through the door curtain. I have door curtains on all my doors because I feel they give my place an air of mystery. And they muss up people’s hair. Nobody’s allowed to have nicer hair than me when they’re in my place. That’s just the way it is.
Another reason why I spend so much time in my kitchen: it’s where my Internet lives.
Speaking of things living in my kitchen, look! I have plants! I’ve never had live plants before. I’m kind of waiting for them to die or explode. But, until then, look how pretty and not-dead they look!
To be filed under “More Stuff I Never Thought I Needed Until I Saw It in the Store and Realized Exactly What My Life Had Been Missing This Whole Time”: this adorable rug.
Do you know what it’s like to realize that the gaping hole in your heart is exactly the same size and shape as a kitchen rug with birds on it? A ridiculously, over-priced kitchen rug with birds on it? (At least my heart can’t be filled on the cheap. That’s got to mean something.)
Speaking of birds, here’s my totally essential stamp-holding bird that I keep on my desk next to my equally essential sign telling me to smile. Because sometimes you need a reminder to smile. (But not from creepy dudes on the street. The next time some creepy dude on the street tells me to smile, I’m going to tell him, “I’ll smile but only because my sign is telling me to, not because you said I should, creepy dude.”)
What was I even talking about?
Oh yes, my kitchen. Here it is from another angle. Admittedly this angle is not as snazzy as the other angle — but you do get a good look at my haunted kitchen island.
Speaking of my island, I finally figured out what I should put in its bottom cupboard. It is way too small for baking pans and only holds half of my mixing bowls. But it is just the right size for wine bottles. I feel like my great grandmother would approve.
Whelp, now that I’ve shown you where the wine is, it’s probably time for you to leave. Before you start stealing my wine and make me regret my life choices. Like my life choice to invite all the people of the Internet into my home without demanding they bring me a bottle of wine first.
Just be sure to muss your hair up real good on your way out.
Thanks for coming to visit! Now it’s your turn to talk! What household item did you buy that you never thought you needed until you saw it in the store and realized it was exactly what your life was missing?