Hey guys! I just got back from my big solo-camping/hiking/boat-riding/pasty-eating, Upper Peninsula adventure.
And by “just” I mean “a full week ago, but I’ve been too busy watching every single episode of Inside Amy Schumer on Hulu and taking afternoon naps with my cat to update my blog.”
I swear to you, I have at least a half million posts in my brain that I’m totally going to write about my trip, but, first, RANDOM STUFF LIST!
1. As I mentioned before, this past trip was the longest I’d gone camping. My previous camping trips have been for two or three nights; this past one was for nine nights.
Obviously, I didn’t die as predicted. To be honest, it wasn’t even all that hard. And the hardest thing was not roughing it or dealing with all the bugs or regularly “showering” with wet wipes.
The most difficult part of it all for me was dealing with my camping neighbors.
You see, here’s the thing about campground-camping: staying at a campground is a lot like staying in a hostel. It’s a great, cheap way to travel. And you can meet some nice, interesting people. But, man, there are also a whole lot of really inconsiderate jackholes out there.
Luckily, my hostel-days taught me to always bring earplugs when I travel.
But, seriously, you guys, is there a reason why we need to blast our truck radio at eleven o’clock at night while camping? And, I realize you’re getting “back to nature,” but I’d rather not be sitting by my campfire listening to you burp and fart by your campfire.
Needless to say, I was very happy to get back to my quiet apartment last week, where the only radio-blasting or audible bodily noises I have to put up with are my own. Or my cat’s. (But she’s pretty good at keeping the Taylor Swift dance parties to the hours I’m not at home.)
2. In addition, to the Upper Peninsula, I also spent a few days in Wisconsin, where I visited with my cousin and went to the National Mustard Museum BECAUSE THAT IS A THING THAT EXISTS.
3. And then I took the car ferry back from Milwaukee to Muskegon.
Here’s a tip in case you’re thinking of taking the ferry: Book your ticket in advance especially if you’re going on a weekend in the middle of the summer and would rather not have to take the ferry that leaves at ridiculous o’clock in the morning.
Because, sure, watching the sunrise on a boat is great. But, you know what’s even better? Not having to wake up at 4 AM.
Here’s another tip: Don’t read books about Nazis doing really horrible Nazi things while you’re on the ferry. Especially if you’re prone to tears and dramatic gasps because you’ll spend the entire trip crying and dramatically gasping and everyone on the ferry will think you’re having a psychotic break.
But at least you won’t have to worry about anyone sitting near you. Or standing near you. Or, really, getting anywhere near you.
4. Speaking of books you probably shouldn’t bother with in public, I downloaded the audiobook of Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari to listen to while I take walks because I’m a nerd like that.
(In case you don’t know, Ansari is the guy from Parks and Recreation. You know, the “Treat yo self!” guy. That guy.)
Anyway, it’s basically this big huge sociological study about dating and marriage in the technology age, but with Ansari regularly calling people bozos and then going off on finding the perfect taco.
And because I find the word “bozo” hilarious, I can’t help making these loud, guffaw-like laughs on the regular while I’m just walking around by myself in public.
So, yeah, basically EVERYONE thinks I’m having a psychotic break by now.
5. Have you guys all seen Trainwreck yet? Omigosh, you guys, I LOVED IT. I seriously sat through the whole movie with the biggest, cheesiest grin on my face.
I also went and saw Paper Towns this week because I am a fourteen-year-old girl. And, well, to be honest, meh.
Although I did like it better than the book. (Am I allowed to say that? Because I just said that.)
I think my problem with both the book and the movie is the premise. You know, the whole normal-nice-guy-falls-in-love-with-troubled-and-mysterious-hot-girl thing. I mean, it’s just so overdone. Why can’t we get a book/movie about a normal-nice-guy falling in love with the quirky-slightly-socially-awkward-cute-ish-girl-who-wears-a-size-sixteen-and-really-likes-cats?
That would be a movie I’d watch with a big huge cheesy grin on my face.
6. You guys, I need a new computer. In fact, I’ve needed a new computer ever since my Macbook crashed last summer, deleting all my travel photos. Every time I ask it to do something remotely complicated like, say, upload something or edit photos, it gets all overheated and upset and I see the spinny beachball of death.
But then this week it stopped letting me watch Netflix, and I was like, “Oh, HELL NO!”
But I can’t decide what I should buy. So, I think maybe you should decide for me, okay?
Should I go the Macbook route again? I mean, yeah, they’re great and shiny and don’t get bugs easily, but they’re freaking expensive. Besides, I only ever use my computer for the Internet and photos and, occasionally, Microsoft Word. I don’t need all those other Macbook programs, like GarageBand and iMovie, hanging around on my toolbar reminding me that I’m never, ever going to be the super cool, creative Macbook user I could be.
Or should I go with one of those tablet/laptop PC hybrid thingies? It would be cheaper. Plus, I could get one with a pen that lets me draw hats on photos of my cat. That seems like something I need to be able to do.
Please, you guys, tell me what to buy!
7. I’ve gone off on my hatred for air conditioning before. (You guys, it’s just TOO COLD, okay? I shouldn’t have to wear a sweater in July.)
Maybe I’m secretly European?
Also related: this article on how to live without air conditioning. It seriously made me want to go sit on a porch and drink lots of lemonade.
8. Other proof that I might be secretly European: I’ve been obsessed with eating tapas instead of real meals lately.
I even bought paté. PATÉ, you guys!
9. I think I’ve also gone off on my hatred of people making chewing noises or really any noises ever. (It’s not intolerance. It’s a condition, you guys. A CONDITION!)
So I could totally relate to this post about what it sounds like your coworker is eating.
(On a related note, I also had a coworker named Eric, who I’m pretty sure ate bags of nails. He said they were carrots, but they really sounded like nails to me.)
10. How am I just finding out about Felines of New York, now? I mean, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE, you guys?
Okay, that’s all for now, guys, because, seriously, my computer is acting like it’s going to DIE. Send me your new computer suggestions now because I cannot even DEAL with all these dramatics. Or just tell me how your week has been if you’d rather not make my life decisions for me. (Please, please, PLEASE, make my life decisions for me!)