This is becoming something of a biweekly event.
(Or is it semiweekly? I can never remember the one that means every two weeks. And I just tried to Google search it and it made me even more confused. Words are hard, you guys.)1.It’s snowing! Like for real this time.
Which means I’ve spent the past week yelling at all my students for not wearing real coats because I’m old and that’s what old people do. We yell at young people to wear coats already. I mean, seriously, DO THEY WANT TO DIE???
This also means I can start eating Christmas cookies, right? I mean, I figure once there’s snow on the ground that means I can start stuffing my face with cookies in the shape of Christmas trees.
Also, I thought you should know these exist and they are EVERYTHING.2. I finally got my computer fixed, you guys!
It only took 1 month, 2 trips to the Apple store and about $200 in new hardware.
Lesson learned: If you think the problem is the power cord and you tell the “genius” that it’s the power cord and he tells you that it’s definitely not the power cord, it’s probably the power cord. Needless to say, I now have a new power cord.
As I suspected I lost all of my photos from this summer since I hadn’t backed up my computer since May. In fact, the last time I backed up my computer was just a couple days after I found George.
So, on the bright side, I still have about a billion and one photos of her looking so ridiculously tiny and cute. You know, back before she learned that biting my fingers off is the BEST THING EVER .3. I have a moral dilemma.
So, last night, I went to Target to pick up some cat food and milk. Of course, this mission was doomed from the start because there is no way I can go into Target and come out with only two things. I instantly slip into this zombie-like state where I just pile a huge number of things into my cart and then pay the cashier whatever she tells me because MUST BUY, IN TARGET.
So one of those many things I piled into my cart was a grumpy cat Christmas sweater. BECAUSE GRUMPY CAT CHRISTMAS SWEATER, YOU GUYS!
But, when I got home, I glanced at my receipt and realized I hadn’t been charged for the sweater. You guys, it’s not shop-lifting if I had every intention of buying it, but just didn’t notice that I wasn’t being charged for it because I was in a total Target coma, right?
I feel like this is a sign that Santa Claus exists. And her name is Kimberly. And she works at Register 4 in the Kalamazoo Target. I mean, that would explain why she was wearing red, right?
Or maybe this was one of those pay-it-forward situations? You know those stories about the lady who comes through the Starbucks drive-through and pays for the next ten people buying coffee? Maybe someone came into Target that day and said they wanted to pay for the next ten people buying grumpy cat Christmas sweaters? That sounds like a totally plausible situation, right?
Okay, I don’t even know why I said this was a moral dilemma. We all know I’m not going to take that sweater back. BECAUSE FREE GRUMPY CAT CHRISTMAS SWEATER, YOU GUYS!4. I’m going to talk about Amy Poehler’s book, Yes, Please, right now.
If you haven’t read it and are planning on reading it, you might want to avert your eyes. Or go ahead and read what I have to say and then yell at me later in the comments. It’s up to you.
I just finished the book this week, and I feel horrible saying this because Amy Poehler is my girl, but I really didn’t like it as much as I wanted to. Seriously, you guys, I was ready to fall in LOVE. And there were definitely parts that I adored. (Her chapter on shutting up the inner demons that say bad things about your thighs and her other chapter on treating your career like your bad boyfriend = genius).
But, for the most part, I was kind of meh.
(Okay, go ahead and yell at me in the comments already. I can take it. Maybe.)5. You know how I’ve been totally obsessed with making ALL THE PUMPKIN THINGS, right?
Well, I’m even more obsessed at the moment (as if that was possible) because I feel like I have limited time. I mean, once Thanksgiving is done with, don’t we have to move on to non-pumpkiny, Christmassy foods?
Like, umm, figgy pudding or something?
So before that happens I need to make these pumpkin snickerdoodles or there’s really no point in living.6. Okay, you guys, I’m just going to throw this out there and tell you that I love Taylor Swift.
I know. I know.
I resisted for a really long time, but why? What is even the point of being too cool for Taylor Swift? Why cause myself that kind of pain? Why resist the sweet siren call of “Shake It Off”? That song is just begging me to dance around my living room in my pajamas.
If you’re resisting the Swift, I suggest you check out this SNL commercial parody for Swiftamine.
And then watch her car lip-sync to her own song.
Because it’s impossible not to love someone after watching them air drum in a car.
(Still resisting? May I recommend “Shake It Off” on violins? You’re welcome.)7. A night of passion with Ryan Gosling or a limitless supply of cheese?
I don’t know.
That’s kind of a toughie.
(Who am I kidding? I totally picked cheese.)8. This is me every single time I watch a sad movie.
And a sad television show.
And, okay, that credit card commercial where the guy looks at his baby daughter and then their future together flashes before his eyes and I think there’s a John Mayer song in the background. GETS ME EVERY TIME. GAH.9. According to the Internets, Michigan is the greatest state.
So, who’s coming to visit me?10. Did you think I’d write an entire random stuff list without a kitten link?
IT’S LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME.