10 Ways Having a Kitten is Kind of Like Having a Kid

May 28, 2014

DSC09935

In case you missed this post last week or the eleventy kajillion kitten photos I’ve posted on Instagram and Facebook, I have a cat now, you guys!

As much as I’m loving being a new kitty owner, I have to admit that having a kitten is much harder work than I thought it would be. In fact, it’s kind of like having a kid. Well, the kind of kid you can leave at home all day locked in your bedroom with a litter box and a bowl full of kitten chow.

Okay, so maybe it’s nothing like having a kid. But,whatever, just humor me.

 10 Ways Having a Kitten is Kind of Like Having a Kid (Or “Why I Should Really Never Have Kids Because I, Seriously, Can’t Even Handle a Kitten.”)

1. All conversations lead to kitten.
Almost every single conversation I’ve had this week — both in-person and on-line — has been about my cat.

Even if the conversation started on a non-cat related topic, I somehow end up talking about my cat by the end  of it.

And, well, it’s possible I had an hour-long phone conversation with my parents about my cat this weekend. I should probably just go ahead and buy them this sign:

cat

2. Oh, and while I’m talking about my cat, let me just show you a billion photos of her on my phone, okay?
Because, seriously, who doesn’t want to see a billion photos of THIS SWEET LITTLE KITTY CAT FACE???
 
AWWWWWWW!

AWWWWWWW!

3. I’m sleep-deprived.
Sure, I don’t have any late night feedings to deal with.

But I do have plenty of late night human-jumpings. And late night duvet-attackings. And late night ear-yowlings

Granted, I can deal with all of these late night annoyances by shoving her off the bed and on to the floor or locking her in the bathroom .

I hear you’re not supposed to do that with babies.

4. I’ve spent more money on her this week than I’ve spent on myself.
Things I’ve bought for my cat this past week:

– A cheap “emergency” litter box bought the night I found her.

– A ridiculously overpriced litter box with built-in odor control, a swinging kitty door and something called “antimicrobial protection.”

– A little carpet to put in front of the litter box. Also ridiculously overpriced. But it came in the shape of a cat’s head. So that’s worth something, right?

– A super cute pink cat bowl because using a human bowl to serve her food in was just getting embarrassing.

– An assortment of toys, including balls, stuffed animals, and a stick with a feather boa attached to it that looks kind of like something a dominatrix would use.

– Dry food, wet food, a water bowl and some litter.

Things I bought for myself this week:

– A mini bottle of hand lotion.

– A Diet Coke.

5. I care more about her health than I do my own.
In the past six months, I have written on my to-do list “Find a doctor and a dentist” approximately a kabillion times. I have yet to do either of those.

Meanwhile, I’ve had George a little over a week and she’s already been to the vet.

And when the vet told me she was healthy, I felt proud. Like I was somehow personally responsible for the regularity of her bowel movements.

6. I regularly have to stop what I’m doing so I can stare at her.
But, seriously, who wouldn’t want to stare at this SWEET LITTLE KITTY CAT FACE???
 
AWWWWWWWW!

OOOHHHHHHH!

7. I can’t have nice things.
Behold my Kindle:
 
Kindle

I used to be able to read the whole page.

This thing survived China. CHINA.

But it lasted less than one week with the kitten thanks to her tendency to want to attack ALL THE THINGS on my bedside table at least once a night.

8. I’ve started to come home from work early so I can see my cat.
Yeah, I know, you guys. I just admitted that on the Internet.

But, seriously, who wouldn’t want to come home early to stare at THIS SWEET LITTLE KITTY CAT FACE???

AWWWWWWWW!

EEEEEEEEEEEEE!

9. I’ve already devised a complicated “Not Without My Daughter”  scheme to rescue my cat in case her previous owners claim her.
When I first found George, I filed a found pet report with animal services because that’s what the Google tells you to do when you search the words “What do I do when I find a stray cat?”

It wasn’t until a day or so afterwards that it dawned on me that there was a possibility that her previous owners might claim her and I’d have to give her back.

Well, folks, I’m not going to let that happen.

No, sirree. Not on my watch.

If I have to file some reckless kitten-endangerment charge against the previous owners or hide her in my shirt while they search my apartment, so help me God, I will.

(P.S. Don’t tell the authorities I just told you that.)

10. Unconditional love, you guys. It’s a real thing. As are the scratch marks running up and down my legs.
One of the reasons I never thought I could have kids was because I didn’t think it would be possible for me to love someone who is basically out to destroy me.

But, yet, here I am, completely and totally in love with a monster.

She tears up my furniture. She breaks my things. She does this thing where she’ll latch her claws in my pant legs to try to crawl up on to my lap. She can yowl louder than any full-sized cat I’ve ever known.

Basically, she’s the worst.

And the best.

And I love her forever and ever and ever amen.

But, seriously, who wouldn’t love THIS SWEET LITTLE KITTY CAT FACE???

Like I said, she's a monster.

Such a monster.

Do you have pets? Do you have kids? Do you think owning a pet is kind of like having a kid?
43

I've blathered on long enough! Now it's your turn!

  1. On May 28, 2014 at 10:26 pm Alana - Paper Planes said:

    I got a puppy a couple of months ago – it’s my first pet, and I never even wanted it…and now I completely agree with everything you wrote above! I mean, look… http://instagram.com/p/mkKk46qHxG/
    Alana – Paper Planes recently posted..Announcing the New Shop on Paper Planes

  2. On May 28, 2014 at 10:48 pm Ashley Hufford said:

    I relate to this.

    I found a cat last December on the street and he is totally my world.

    seriously it’s pathetic, but I love him so so so much.

    And he’s the worst and best too.

    Also he attacks everything as well

    http://instagram.com/p/kf51KeNbk_/

    this is him before he attacks my monopoly game….oh kitten!

  3. On May 29, 2014 at 1:31 am Katie said:

    Oh yes, this was me when I got my kittens in December.

    And can I just say I’m a little jealous that George is cuter than my now-7-months old kittens. They lose a tad bit of their total adorableneas as they get older.
    Katie recently posted..I’m Going to the Grand Canyon!

  4. On May 29, 2014 at 5:11 am Eileen黃愛玲 said:

    I can so relate to you about having a cat. Dead on!
    Eileen黃愛玲 recently posted..Home is not written in your D.N.A

  5. On May 29, 2014 at 8:55 am AudreyD. said:

    Yep, totally agree with you! I miss my cat when I don’t see her in a few days. I take way too many pictures. But my boyfriend, oh! that’s something. Didn’t want a cat, got one because I wanted one. And you should hear him talk to her, pet her, hold her so she will sleep on him. he LOVES her. I never thought it would go that way.

    And you’re right. Your kitten is way too cute not to be loved! so so cute!!

    • On June 1, 2014 at 2:09 pm Sally said:

      Ha ha. That’s so funny. It’s always the people who say they don’t want a cat who fall in the deepest. Before I moved to Japan, I had to give up my cat, which was super hard to do. Luckily, a friend of mine agreed to adopt her but he was very reluctant at first. That changed pretty quickly. When I moved home, he told me I wasn’t allowed to have her back.

  6. On May 29, 2014 at 2:04 pm Carmel said:

    “A super cute pink cat bowl because using a human bowl to serve her food in was just getting embarrassing.”
    Um…how ELSE are you supposed to distinguish her food dish from your food dish? Ours has kitty paw prints on it…
    Carmel recently posted..ESCAPE FROM ROTTNEST ISLAND

  7. On May 29, 2014 at 3:25 pm Sarah said:

    I love her and love all your kitty posts on facebook! Adorable. I almost wanna stop traveling so I can have one like her (and three dogs)!!!
    Sarah recently posted..This Sacred Space

    • On June 1, 2014 at 2:06 pm Sally said:

      Yeah, it’s hard… deciding between kittens and travel. That’s one reason I didn’t think I’d get a cat because there’s a very real possibility I’ll go overseas again. Oh well, I guess my next overseas job will just have to give me a cat relocation payment.

  8. On May 30, 2014 at 3:28 am Michael said:

    I have three kittens, two almost a year old, and one ten week old hospice girl named Cloud, who has a fatal congenital heart defect.

    All are adopted, all are my family, and they come first. 🙂 So yes, I can relate. And your kitten has an adorable, irresistible face. <3

  9. On May 30, 2014 at 11:29 am Brendalyn Drews said:

    We tend to call our kittens our “children”. Maya our oldest also loves to wake us up really early in the mornings! Just like a baby might during the early hours of the morning.
    Brendalyn Drews recently posted..Orijen Cat Food – Our Top 5 Picks!

  10. On May 30, 2014 at 12:56 pm Sarah said:

    Wait, you only bought yourself hand lotion and diet coke? THAT’S IT? Dude, I’m concerned. Not even a burrito??
    Sarah recently posted..The Art of Getting Your Shit Together

    • On June 1, 2014 at 2:03 pm Sally said:

      Nope. Not a single burrito. I’ve been trying to save money, so I’ll do one big shopping trip every 2 weeks right after I get my paycheck and then I force myself to eat at home or pack my lunch everyday. So no burritos for me… unless I make them myself!

  11. On May 30, 2014 at 2:58 pm Janice said:

    This has got to be the very most truthiest post on all of the internets. Also, you should teach her how to use the toilet. A kitten will grow up, but litter is forever. Just sayin’.
    Janice recently posted..Adventures on the Bus

  12. On May 30, 2014 at 8:21 pm Leslie in Oregon said:

    Being cat-deprived (because of my spouse’s serious allergies), I particularly appreciate your sharing George with us. She is wonderful…I’m so glad you found her! I have two dogs, two adult children and many friends who got a dog to help them decide whether to have a child. (All decided to.) For me, having a pet is very much liking (but certainly not the same as) having a child…so much so that when my last child left home, she arranged for us to become foster parents for Golden Bond, an organization that rescues Golden Retrievers. We had lost Rosie, our first Golden, to cancer 10 months before, and our daughter knew we would adopt our first foster dog, which we did (about five seconds after we met him)! A few years later, he (Henry) was joined by Bob, a long-haired Dachshund dog who needed a home. Together, Henry and Bob have filled our nest beautifully. Yes, there is a lot of work involved, but it is so worth it. P.S. You may want to consider getting health insurance for George. It has been a good thing for us.

    • On June 1, 2014 at 2:01 pm Sally said:

      I have some friends and family members who foster animals. I think that’s so awesome… but I don’t know if I could do it. Not only is my apartment way too small, but also my heart is way too big and I’d want to keep them ALL… especially if they were cute little kitties. Or any little kitties. It would be too hard to give them up!

  13. On May 30, 2014 at 9:31 pm Ceri said:

    And this is exactly why I decided not to get that kitten I keep seeing. It’s exactly like having a child!

    Congratulations Momma Sally. 😉
    Ceri recently posted..Happy Days to Curb the Sad Ones

  14. On May 30, 2014 at 11:35 pm Tom @ Waegook Tom said:

    MORE KITTEN PHOTOS. MORRRRRRRE.

    And whatever, whoever says that locking babies in the bathroom is a namby-pamby. Or someone who doesn’t want a visit from social services. Hmm. On second thoughts, perhaps a cot is better than a tiled floor.
    Tom @ Waegook Tom recently posted..Eating China In Taipei

    • On June 1, 2014 at 1:57 pm Sally said:

      I know, right? Shouldn’t we be teaching our children at a young age to fend for themselves. And if that means eating bath salts for sustenance because they’ve been locked in the bathroom all day, so be it.
      Okay, yeah, I REALLY shouldn’t have kids.

  15. On May 31, 2014 at 1:50 pm Karisa said:

    SO CUTE!!! <3 I can relate to #3. My cat finds that the best time to bite my toes is at 4am EVERY NIGHT. Have fun with your little fluff ball!
    Karisa recently posted..Travel Photography: Cha am Beach, Thailand

    • On June 1, 2014 at 1:55 pm Sally said:

      Mine likes to bite my fingers at 4 AM… and then pounce on my head. It’s a good thing she’s adorable, or it would be over for her.

  16. On June 5, 2014 at 5:27 pm Elli Davis said:

    This sounds like my story (but written million times better)! I can’t imagine my life without Alex and Charlie and all was really the same as they were kittens: always the main topic of our conversations, like one million pictures of them… But they grew up so it changed a bit: they are still cute but not in the same way, and also spending a lot of time with sleeping (yes, even more than before). I’m curious about you and George…
    Elli Davis recently posted..Versace, Jimmy Choo and many others coming to Yorkdale

    • On June 22, 2014 at 11:15 am Sally said:

      I can’t even wait until George sleeps more. I finally had to kick her out of my bedroom last night because she never slept at night — just spent the whole night jumping on me and attacking/licking me.

  17. On June 6, 2014 at 7:52 pm Rachael said:

    She is freakin adorable! I have both the kid and the cat (3 cats, just the one kid) and it seems they take turns being huge pains in the butt. Kid has a cute face too, though. So there’s that. 🙂

    • On June 22, 2014 at 11:14 am Sally said:

      Yeah, the cute face makes up for a lot of things. Except when she’s clawing her way up my back. Then I usually forget her cute face and just want to strangle her cute neck.

  18. On August 17, 2015 at 2:51 pm kelly said:

    I agree that having a kittens/pets are like having kids,adorable kitten by the way.
    kelly recently posted..Purina Cat Food Coupons

  19. On March 29, 2016 at 12:07 am heather said:

    I just got my first kitten a few months ago and I cant believe how in love I am with her. I’m pretty much doing all the things that you are. I will jump at the chance to leave work early to come home and see her. I don’t care about my stupid stuff that she breaks. I just love her. I went to my moms last weekend and there was no way I could spend a night without her so I had to bring her. My mom loves her too and almost wouldn’t let me take her back home.

    • On April 2, 2016 at 11:45 am Sally said:

      Kittens are the best, aren’t they? I’ve been tempted to get another one, but I think my (now full-grown) cat would NOT approve. She’s not so into sharing me. 🙂

  20. On November 24, 2016 at 7:26 am Terri Johnson said:

    Awwwe! I loved this! Its so true!! I seriously look at my Phoebe & think wow, I really can’t imagine my life without you. I’ve only had her for 4 weeks! The one where u spent hundreds on them easily in a week, I literally bought everything you’ve named, 2 litter boxes, every toy and treat you can think of. I’ve also missed several dentist appointments but promptly had Phoebe at the vet twice & to the groomers, this past month. I’m a single woman & have struggled with an anxiety disorder my whole life, getting Phoebe was the best decision I made, I think I needed her more than she needed me <3

    • On December 11, 2016 at 1:41 pm Sally said:

      So glad you were able to find Phoebe! It’s funny I remember thinking a year after I had adopted George how much happier and less lonely I felt — and I hadn’t even thought I was that sad or lonely prior to getting her. Pets really do change your life!

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