I’m entitling this post: “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

April 6, 2014
So, ummm, remember when I called you all crazy for nominating me for a Bloggie for most Humorous Weblog? 

Well, apparently, you people really must like having your sanity questioned because last weekend this happened:

Picture 3

I’m not really sure what I’ve done to deserve this award. I mean, all I do is sit around, writing about soup and beer and cat videos.

But, hey, who am I to fight with you people?

As they say, the heart wants what the heart wants. And, apparently, the heart wants cat videos. (Can you blame it? Who doesn’t want cat videos?)

I’ve been racking my brain all week trying to think of a suitable thank you gift.

I’ve already given you unicorn-ponies. And unicorn-cats. And unicorn-one-eyed-chihuahuas.

Sorry, guys, he's taken.

Unicorn-one-eyed-chihuahua. The gift that keeps on giving.

And, well, I’m clean out of rainbows and leprechauns.

I’d make you all cookies, but I think we all know how that would end up. Namely, with me eating about five billion cookies. Not that I really have a problem with that. But my pants might.

And, then, last night I went to a poetry reading because isn’t that what you do on a Saturday night?

Hot Saturday Night.

Saturday night date night. By myself. Because I’m the coolest.

And that’s where I got an idea. I should write you all a poem!

Now, before I get started, I should probably preface this by saying it’s been something like fifteen years since I last wrote a poem.

Back in college, I used to write my fair share of poems. Usually melodramatic affairs about  horrible life events, like eating a cookie that you think has chocolate chips in it and discovering that the chocolate chips are actually raisins and, SERIOUSLY, WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP ON PUTTING RAISINS IN PLACES WHERE THEY DON’T BELONG???

But it’s been a while since my iambic pentameter days, so excuse me if my poem is a tad bit rusty. Also, I can’t rhyme to save my life.

But here goes:

An Ode to the Crazy People Who Vote for Me for Awards I Really, Probably Don’t Deserve

You guys,

You are like rainbows and sunshine and beer that tastes like sunshine.

You are like cat videos,

And dog videos,

And squirrels dressed up like pilgrims.

You are like cookies with chocolate chips that are actually chocolate chips and not raisins because WE ALL KNOW THAT RAISINS ARE A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY.

You are like unicorns,

But more magical,

And more glittery,

And I didn’t even think that was possible.

You are really pretty and nice and I like your sweater,

And I’m not just saying that because you all voted for me for an award I don’t deserve,

I mean it.

Also, I think you’re a little bit crazy,

Or, well, maybe a lot bit crazy,

But that’s okay because I’m kind of the same way.

That statue totally deserves the look I'm giving him.

That statue totally deserves the look I’m giving him.

Now it’s your turn. Write me a poem. Or do whatever your heart desires. Especially if your heart desires cat videos.

I've blathered on long enough! Now it's your turn!

  1. On April 6, 2014 at 4:14 pm Anika said:

    I love you 🙂

    So glad you won.

  2. On April 6, 2014 at 5:33 pm Isabelle said:

    Well, my talents as poem writer are extremely limited so I’m going to abstain. But Congratulations! You deserve it! You always put a bit of sunshine in my day when I read you.

  3. On April 6, 2014 at 8:11 pm Priya said:

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Don’t quit your day job
    I like your sweater, too

    Priya recently posted..On Beauty, Hair, & This Is Who I AM

  4. On April 6, 2014 at 9:08 pm kathy said:

    Enough of blogging. Time to replace Letterman!

  5. On April 7, 2014 at 3:28 pm Amy said:

    Sweet! I’m over 40, so I can’t remember if I actually voted or meant to vote. Regardless, you have my vote (or in the alternative, my well intentioned thought about voting for you). You’ve the best. 🙂

  6. On April 7, 2014 at 10:21 pm Sine said:

    ‘Twas some nights before Christmas, when all through the house
    Not a creature was stirring but the Microsoft mouse.
    The cursor was blinking, the screen was aglow,
    And progress, as last year, was painfully slow.

    My fingers were tapping on the keyboard with care
    In hopes that the Christmas card soon would be there,
    When out of the kitchen there arose such a clatter
    I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

    That’s how I started last year’s Christmas poem. It goes on to feature a cat, no kidding! But not a cat video. Will have to remember that for the next one…
    Sine recently posted..Newly Released: KILIMANJARO DIARIES Now Available on Kindle!

  7. On April 7, 2014 at 11:47 pm Ross said:

    Way to go Sally!
    Ross recently posted..Virgin River

  8. On April 10, 2014 at 9:03 pm Amanda said:

    That’s awesome! Congrats!!
    Amanda recently posted..Do You Believe in Magic?

  9. On April 11, 2014 at 11:45 pm choi kum fook said:

    Miss Sally, congratulation!! You deserve it for your talent! I am longing your book come out soon.

  10. On April 12, 2014 at 3:06 pm Ailsa Ross said:

    Yay! Absolutely deserved.
    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I once dreamed I was a cat (and it was the best),
    How about you?
    Ailsa Ross recently posted..Beautiful, Untranslatable Words

  11. On April 13, 2014 at 9:56 pm budget jan said:

    As I voted for you and am not crazy :-/ I think you should just admit it:
    You’re Funny 🙂

    This could mean you are either
    A) causing laughter or amusement; or and this is highly possible,

    B) difficult to explain or understand; strange or curious.

    Whatever. We like you being funny so keep it up.
    budget jan recently posted..The Strangest Food I’ve Eaten While Traveling or a Cup of Pink Pickled Cabbage

  12. On April 21, 2014 at 5:39 am Hamish Healys said:

    I like your blog. I think you’re nuts! but aren’t we all?

  13. On April 24, 2014 at 2:28 am Ceri said:

    I voted for you and … I wish i could write a poem but, yeah, I just can’t. Especially after seeing the one you just wrote for us. It would be like following The Beatles or something.

    Congrats, though, Sal. 😉 You deserve it!
    Ceri recently posted..Thoughts From Korea


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