It’s been really nice.
After all, I am a huge fan of free places to stay. Especially when those free places have a pantry full of food I never buy. Let’s just say it’s possible my breakfast on Monday consisted of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Doritos.
My college friend also happens to have two teenaged daughters. And since school was cancelled for the first two days of the week due to the “Massive Maryland Snow Storm” (aka “Totally A Flurry If You Happen to Live in Michigan“), I got to spend quite a bit of time hanging out with them.
This has also been nice.
And educational. Not only have I learned a few things about teenagers I didn’t know, but also I’ve learned a few things about myself.
10 Things I Learned From Teenaged Girls This Week1. I am not cool.
This kind of came as a surprise, to be honest, as I’d always kind of thought of myself as a pretty cool adult. After all, I regularly eat popcorn for dinner and I know who Pharrell is (even if I just had to use Google to figure out how to spell his name).
Plus, all my nieces and nephews seem to think I’m pretty awesome. I mean, not to brag or anything, but I have been called the Best Aunt Ever. I even have the jewelry to prove it.
But my nieces and nephews are all currently ten and under. They’re a little bit easier to impress.
I tried to pull off the cool adult routine with my friend’s daughters by talking about Divergent and how I used to have a nose ring in college. When that didn’t work I made fun of their mom in front of them.
Yes, I did that.
But they’re TEENAGERS. Teenagers are basically piranhas. Really, really judgy piranhas. They don’t care if you know all the lyrics to “Happy.” If you’re their parent’s friend, you’re ancient and lame and you might as well just start wearing mom jeans already.2. I cannot seem to stop myself from asking, “So how’s school?”
I did not want to ask this question.
I know this is not a cool question to ask.
I can remember my parent’s friends asking me this question and thinking to myself, “Uggh. Adults! Why do they all ask the same stupid question about school?”
I would hear this question coming out of my mouth and all I could think was, “Ahhhh! Make it stop! Make it stop!”
But, yet, it would not stop.3. Facebook is not cool.
Or at least it used to be cool until adults started using it and made it all lame.
Now all the kids these days use Instagram. Hopefully us adults won’t mess that up, too.4. You should never Instagram more than seven photos a week.
Anything more than that is just a cry for help. Of course, exceptions can be made in the case of special events like school dances and puppies. But, even then, you should really try to control yourself.
This to me sounded impossibly low. I have been known to Instagram seven photos before noon. Especially if my breakfast looked like this:
When I mentioned that I thought seven photos a week was too low and that I could never keep to that, I was assured that it didn’t really matter what I did because I wasn’t “school-popular.”
Ummm, okay.5. There are certain things old people shouldn’t know about.
And there are other things that old people should know about.
Like Percy Jackson.
I, meanwhile, know what Vine is, but had never heard of Percy Jackson. So that means I’m not only an old person, but a really bad old person.6. Wearing stuff like hats and scarves and winter jackets in the middle of winter is still super duper uncool just like it was when I was a teenager.
Why do you think that is? Is there some kind of universal evolutionary purpose behind teenagers regularly attempting to freeze themselves to death?7. Another thing that teenage girls are still doing that they did when I was a teenager: worrying about being fat when they’re not fat.
That really needs to stop being cool already.8. Nose rings are cool but tongue rings are gross.
Sorry if you have a tongue ring. But, ewww.9. Teenagers can sleep FOREVER.
Not just for a really long time, but for FOREVER. At one point on Tuesday, I was worried they had both slipped into a coma they had been sleeping so long.
They can also sleep ANYWHERE. Here is just a short list of places I found teenagers sleeping this week: on the couch, on the floor, on the kitchen counter.10. I couldn’t do it.
Watching my friend with her daughters filled me with awe. She’s such an amazing mom — so full of love and humor and grace. And she’s raising daughters who are every bit as awesome and smart and funny as she is. Even if they do regularly try to freeze themselves to death.
I know I could never be a mom myself. Admittedly, I’ve known this for a while. I mean, I’m barely responsible for myself. I really shouldn’t be responsible for other humans.
I’m happy with being the best aunt ever.
Well, that is until my nieces and nephews reach their teenage years and I become the uncoolest person ever. I wonder if I can get that in a bracelet, too?Learned any life lessons from hanging out with teenagers recently? What’s cool among the teenagers in your life? Do share! I’m pretty sure sharing is still cool. Maybe?