Which sounds pretty darn awesome. And kind of like a Syfy movie. But is just another fancy-pants word for “super duper cold” and “did I mention it’s cold?”
So, yeah, you guys, it’s kind of freaking cold outside.
Not that it’s all that warm inside either.
You see, I live in a historic old apartment building. And by “historic” I mean “drafty and probably insulated with old corn cobs.” And I’m pretty sure the two old-timey-looking heaters in my apartment are just there for show because they emit even less hot air than I do.
Luckily, one of my Christmas presents this year was an electric blanket with not one but two controls. Because I’m fancy like that.
So I’ve spent the past few days, hanging out in bed, drinking gallons of Trader Joe’s candy cane green tea (which is OMG-AMAZING and totally makes up for the fact that their peppermint hot chocolate tastes like toothpaste) and catching up on TV dramas on the Netflix and books on the Kindle.
Given the fact that I haven’t spent more than about twenty minutes out of my bed in the past three days, you’d think I wouldn’t have learned a whole hell of a lot. But it’s amazing what a girl can learn when her comforter is her classroom.
5 Things I Learned While Spending 3 Days in Bed. Thank you, Polar Vortex!1. Snow days are just as awesome when you’re adult as when you’re a kid.
Possibly even awesomer because when you’re an adult you don’t feel any obligation to go outside and build a snow fort before coming inside to drink hot chocolate.
Instead, you can just stay inside drinking hot chocolate all the live-long day.
Because you’re a freaking adult, okay? You’re the one making the decisions around here.
Boo-freaking-ya, amirite?2. Mashed sweet potatoes are the perfect cold weather comfort food.
And surprisingly easy to eat in bed.3. It’s entirely possible to watch so many episodes of one TV drama that you convince yourself that you’re a character in the show.
Now if you’ll excuse me, MY NAME IS AMANDA CLARKE AND I MUST GO AVENGE MY FATHER’S DEATH.4. It’s also entirely possible to lose your freaking shit while reading a book.
You guys, I’m a sap, and I cry all the time while watching sad movies or reading sad books. But it’s the silent type of crying. You know, the kind of crying that you could be all like, “There’s just something in my eye, ” if someone happened to walk in on you.
Yesterday, I read this book from Kindle-cover to Kindle-cover and it totally and completely WRECKED me. I practically hyperventilated I cried so hard.5. You will eventually need to leave your bed.
I know, bummer, right?
I was forced this morning to trudge down the street to the gas station to pick up some milk. Because I am totally a snowstorm cliche.
And it really wasn’t that bad out there. I mean, it was COLD, and I couldn’t feel my toes despite three layers of socks.
But the snow-covered streets were calm and peaceful.
The street lights looked festive festooned in icicles.
And I felt a sense of camaraderie with the few other souls who had made it out to brave the cold.
That, and I found out the gas station sells chocolate-covered pretzels.
Win-win!How have you been spending your polar vortex days? Unless you’re not experiencing a polar vortex. In which case I really don’t care how you’re spending your days because you are probably one of those lucky people who can actually feel their toes.