My Favorite Things (Or “Stuff I Would Totally Buy Someone If I Hadn’t Already Bought It For Myself.”)
Not to brag or anything, but I’m pretty much done shopping.
Mind you, I haven’t exactly started shopping either.
But, I have very few presents to buy as my family no longer does much of a gift exchange.
You see, we spend the majority of the year buying ourselves presents, so that by the end of the year we’re all too poor to buy each other presents, so we just sit around eating cookies and getting sloshed on cheap wine. (Okay, that’s what I do. I can’t really vouch for the rest of my family.)
Seeing as I’ve been spending the year buying myself stuff, I thought I might share with you some of my favorite things that I’ve bought this year. Kind of like how Oprah does, except my list doesn’t include a three-hundred-dollar throw pillow with a hand-painted picture of my pet on it. Although I kind of wish it did. Now that I think about it.
Not only does it keep track of how many steps I walk each day, but it also syncs up to my computer and my cell phone, so I can get all these charts telling me how many steps I’ve walked per hour and how many more steps I need to walk to reach my goal and probably how many steps I’ll need to reach the Moon by Tuesday.
I’m not a workout fiend by any means, but I do have this strange competitive streak that only comes out when there are charts involved. Basically, I want to WIN ALL THE CHARTS.
And, well, not to brag or anything, but I’m totally WINNING ALL THE CHARTS.
20,000 steps in one day, you guys! That’s like a million miles. (And by “a million” I mean “almost nine.” Same-same.)
So basically I will use every electronic device I own until it dies a slow, painful death and I’m forced to upgrade.
I had my old Cannon point and shoot camera for over seven years. That thing took a beating. It had been covered in rice paddy mud, dropped on the Great Wall, and regularly doused in beer. And I took way more food photos with it than is really natural or recommended.
And then this summer, the camera stopped focusing properly so I was taking a lot of photos that looked like this:And then the next thing I knew I was in the camera store, buying a seven-hundred-dollar camera. Which is funny because I don’t remember having a spare seven hundred dollars to spend on a camera.
But I have no regrets, you guys.
Probably because my new camera takes some of the prettiest food photos around. And it’s impossible to feel regret while taking beautiful photos of ooey gooey cheese.
My new camera also has absolutely no instruction manual. Well, apparently, the manual is “inside” the camera. I have no idea what that even means. Either way, I haven’t been forced to read anything telling me what to do.
Granted I should probably read something telling me what to do as I have no idea what half of the buttons are for. There may even be a button specifically for cheese photos that I don’t know about. I should probably figure out where that button is. And then go find more cheese.a boot problem.
Boots also have something of a problem with me. In the fact that they very rarely fit over my muscular man-calves and size-ten-slash-eleven feet.
And, while I could bemoan this fact, it’s usually a good thing that I don’t fit into most of the boots I try on. Because, you guys, I’m poor. And, more importantly, I’ve only got so much closet space.
Every once in a while I try on a boot that magically slips on my foot like Cinderella’s glass slipper. Minus the glass. And the slipper. And, you know, the prince and stuff.
These boots were those kind of boots.
I swear when I put them on angels started to sing. Which is weird because I was in a hunting store. You don’t usually picture angels singing in a hunting store.
And then when I took them to the register and discovered they were on sale, even more angels started singing. (These were different angels, of course. The previous angels were the “Holy Crap These Things Actually Fit Me” Angels. These other angels were the “We’re About To Spend Some Money Up in Here” Angels.)
While these boots are not exactly the practical water-proof, winter-proof, Michigan-proof boots I had set out to buy when I entered the hunting store looking for boots, I have found them to be surprisingly versatile.
They look equally cute with jeans as they do with long skirts. Even if I have to wear two pairs of socks to keep my feet warm.
And they make me feel like a cowboy every time I put them on — a cowboy with two pairs of socks on, but a cowboy nonetheless.
Cost Plus World Market Extra Large Bangles
The first time I walked into Cost Plus World Market, I fell in love.
This store sells everything from blingy jewelry to pretty Japanese pottery to international snacks to wine to glittery unicorn ornaments.
So basically everything I could possibly want in life EVER.
And since my first trip there I haven’t allowed myself to go back because, yes, I will totally spend my entire paycheck on Japanese sake cups I will never use, thankyouverymuch.
Luckily, I managed to score some super sweet things on my one and only trip there – like the red and gold bangles pictured above.
I usually don’t even glance at bracelets while I’m shopping because the same God that made my man-calves made my man-wrists and I know I’m just in for a world of hurt caused by trying to jam a bunch of tiny-ass bracelets up my less-than-tiny-ass arms.
But I spotted a little tag hanging off these bangles declaring them to be “extra large” which got me all excited. Now, I’m not usually the type to get excited about having to buy extra large anything. But just the fact that extra large bangles exist was exciting. Because one-size-fits-all is a LIE, you guys.
Miracle of miracles, I was able to slip them on my wrists with very minimal shoving and grunting. They were even loose enough to clink up and down my arm the way bangles should so you can annoy everyone while looking pleasantly exotic.
All the angels started to sing this time — the “Holy Crap These Things Actually Fit Me” Angels and the “We’re About To Spend Some Money Up in Here” Angels and the “I’m Never Allowed Back in this Store Again” Angels.
Farm City: The Education of an Urban Farmer by Novella Carpenter
Like, a lot.
But I have a super crappy memory, so when people ask me what books I’ve read that I recommend, I’m always like, “Umm, there was that book about that girl. And the guy. And something happened. The title was something like ‘The Something of the Something.’ I think. Does that help?”
Farm City is one book that I read this year that I can actually remember reading. Probably because it was the only book I read this year (or, really, ever) that made me both laugh out loud and want to raise chickens in my backyard.
Yeah, I have to say that doesn’t happen much.
But when you think about it, Michigan has pretty much something for everyone.
Chocolate cheese. (I still have NO IDEA what that even is.)
And, well, me!
And out of all the things I spent a heck-ton of money on this year, moving to Michigan has probably been one of my favoritest.
I was visiting family this past weekend, and everyone kept asking me how I liked Michigan, and I kept on saying I liked it, and they kept on getting this dubious look on their faces like, “You? Really? Michigan?”
Of course, there’s a little part of me that’s worried that the only reason I’ve liked Michigan so far is because it’s new and a change, and I like things that are new and change-y, and that in about a year or two I’ll be bored and want something even newer and more change-y-er.
But, until then, I like it.
Possibly even more than my new pedometer. And definitely more than a throw pillow with a picture of my pet on it. I think.What’s your favorite thing that you bought for yourself this year?