But, seriously, who’s counting?
Obviously, not ME.I have this thing I like to do when I arrive in a new place.
But I don’t walk like a normal person might walk.
I walk like a crazy person walks — the kind of crazy person who looks all bedraggled and blistered and like she just walked a million-billion miles in flip-flops because she did just walk a million-billion miles in flip-flops.
Yep, that’s me.
I always say I’m just going to go for a little walk. You know, just to check things out a bit. Get the lay of the land. Maybe take a few pictures.
And then hours later, I find myself covered in sweat, road-grime and toe-blisters, about five miles away from civilization, being barked at by scary dogs, and one of my flip-flops just broke, and I can’t get the GPS on my phone to work, and OMIGOD, I’M NEVER, EVER GOING TO DO THIS AGAIN. DO YOU HEAR ME, SELF? NEVER EVER AGAIN!
And then about two weeks later, I do this again.I did this when I was in Toronto the other month. While wearing flip-flops. And dragging my luggage through the sweltery city streets. Because apparently public transportation is bad and giving myself blisters and heat stroke is SO MUCH better.
And I thought to myself, “Hey, why don’t I go for a little walk down this towpath right here.” This, of course, was the exact same towpath that I could see perfectly well from the canal boat that I’d taken only a few hours earlier.
But, hey, I reasoned, maybe I’d missed something.
To give myself credit, I did see a few things on my walk that I hadn’t seen while on the cruise.
Like, this oddly specific graffiti.
And this sign for a drawbridge. (Sadly no signs for moats or dragons followed.)
And I stumbled upon this band of Canadian geese. Who instantly started coming at me in an aggressive manner that made me suspect they were not Canadian at all.
And then when I finally decided to turn around and head back, I managed to get lost and ended up wandering aimlessly through some people’s backyards. Because that’s always a good idea.I eventually ended up back at my car some two hours after I’d started, just in time to head to dinner at some place in North Tonawanda along the Canal.
I was covered in my usual sweat, road-grime and toe-blisters, but I wasn’t too concerned. After all, the place I was going to dinner at had the word “tavern” in the name. I was imagining it would be, well, really taverny. I didn’t think it would be a big deal if I showed up covered in gross.
I was wrong.
Remington Tavern and Seafood Exchange turned out to be a super-duper classy joint despite its use of the word “tavern” in its name.
At least, it was definitely not what I was imagining a tavern would be like. I was picturing plywood tables and greasy, overcooked hamburgers and drinks with names like “Rusty Foot-To-The-Head.”
I was not picturing exposed brick walls.
And mussels in a tomato-garlic sauce.
And cocktails with dainty slivers of cucumber floating in them. Which I’m pretty sure counts as both a drink and a salad, right?
It didn’t help that everyone else in the place looked exceedingly well-scrubbed and shiny and like they hadn’t just spent the last two hours hiking the Erie Canal.
Even the restaurant’s staff members were all beautiful and shiny in a way that makes you kind of want to stare at them a lot, even though you realize you probably shouldn’t add staring to the list of Reasons Why You’ll Probably Get Kicked Out of Here.
Luckily, I didn’t get kicked out. Which is good because I would have been really sad if I had missed this fancy-pants salmon dish.
You guys, this is how you know you’re in a classy joint.
When your meal arrives at your table better dressed than you are.Have you ever gone somewhere you thought was going to be really divey and it turned out to be surprisingly classy?
Thank you to Niagara Tourism & Convention Corporation for sponsoring my trip to Lockport and the Erie Canal, and thanks to Remington Tavern and Seafood Exchange for a super classy meal and for teaching me that cocktails totally can double as salads.