Well, unlike any other resolution I’ve made in the history of my life ever, I’ve actually managed to kind of keep this one.
I’ve been working less and writing a lot more. (I mean, not to brag or anything, but I’ve been totally kicking some blog butt, lately. I’m up two posts a week! Two! In one week! It’s like I was bit by a radioactive blogger in my sleep and was turned into some kind of superhuman blogger person.)
I’ve been eating lots of delicious food. Some of it has even had vitamins and nutrients in it.
And I’ve been going to the gym a lot more lately. Which, to be perfectly honest, only makes me feel happy when I’m finished and get to go home.
The workout, itself, usually just makes me feel really cranky and old. Probably because I go to the gym at the university where I work, which is full of under-clothed nineteen-year-olds. So I spend the majority of my workout grumbling stuff like, “Put on some pants, young lady!” and “You whippersnappers better get off my elliptical machine!”But there’s one thing that makes me really happy that I haven’t been doing nearly enough of lately – namely, doing cool stuff with cool people.
Well, I did have a very cool friend come visit me for my birthday. But since she couldn’t stay that long, the coolest thing we got to do was go into Buffalo and have Saturday brunch.
Which was still pretty cool.
Because BRUNCH, you guys. It’s breakfast and lunch TOGETHER. I’m never going to stop thinking that’s cool.
And then after brunch I almost got us killed in a car accident.
Okay, so maybe it was pretty much the slowest car accident of all time. And there really wasn’t much chance of either of us dying. Unless you can die of shame over being in the lamest car accident in the world.
But, after that, I haven’t really done much cool stuff.
And then this week, I had a dream about my blog.
I mean, it’s bad enough when you have work dreams. But when you start dreaming about your dorky Internet hobby, you know it’s time to get out of the house more. Even if it almost kills you.So on Friday I arranged to get together with a very cool friend to go check out a very cool event — Night Lights at the Buffalo and Erie County Botanical Gardens.
The Gardens themselves are pretty spectacular during the day.
The gorgeous glass-domed conservatory is jam-packed full of exotic plants, pretty statues, tropical waterfalls and topiaries in the shape of dinosaurs.
Which, I think we can all agree, is the best use of plants EVER.
At the Night Lights event, though, the Gardens become even more spectacular.
The whole place is lit up with funky lights, laser beams and interactive light art.
That combined with the packed crowds, occasional disco ball and electronicky music, made it all feel like a really classy nightclub.
A nightclub that just so happens to have waterfalls and palm trees and topiary dinosaurs.
Which, I think we can all agree, would be pretty much the best nightclub EVER.
Under the lights, the plants took on an eerie and otherworldly quality. Kind of like the creepy, crazy plants that you might have dreams about. That is if you dreamed about cool stuff like plants and not dorky stuff like blogs.
And, while there were stunning flowers and plants of all types and sizes, probably my favorite was this cactus:
It’s possible that when I saw it, I started screaming to my friend, “Hey, this cactus has BOOBS! ”
And, then because I remembered I was at a family-friendly event, I lowered my voice and started snickering about “cactus boobies.”
Because, I’m classy like that, guys.We toured all the rooms including one particularly magical room which featured thousands of tiny, rainbow-colored lights flitting among the trees like thousands of tiny, rainbow-colored fireflies.
And then my friend and I piled into our separate cars and went home.
Well, I went home.
My friend went to a concert. Because my friend is seriously a eleventy billion times cooler than me.
But, hey, I’m working on being cool.
And, even though I didn’t go to a concert, I took plenty of photos that made me look like I was at a concert.
Kind of.Later as I was driving home, congratulating myself on doing a cool thing with a cool person while not getting either of us killed, I suddenly felt a sharp, stabby pain in my abdomen.
It felt like a very small, angry person with a very small, pointy knife was trying to disembowel me.
I pulled my car over to investigate.
I reached into my coat. And I pulled out this massive cactus thorn:
It had somehow worked its way through my winter jacket and two layers of clothing and lodged itself into my stomach.
And that’s when I learned that doing cool stuff with cool people really can almost get you killed.
And that you probably shouldn’t make fun of a cactus’ boobs. Because chances are that cactus has a vengeful cactus boyfriend who will totally try to passively aggressively kill you while you’re driving home.How are you doing with your New Year’s resolutions? Done anything cool lately? What was it?