“Glutinous rice balls? Seriously, Sally? Are you on crack?”
Umm, funny you should ask.
Let’s just say, that might be a possibility.
I don’t know how this happened, but I’m totally addicted to these things. Like if-they-are-even-in-the-house-I-need-to-eat-every-last-one-of-them addicted.
And, really, the only explanation I can come up with is that they have to be stuffed with some kind of illegal substance. Because, seriously, people, that’s the only way I could be this addicted to something with the words “glutinous” and “balls” in the name.I didn’t think I would like them at all when I first spotted them in the freezer section of my grocery store.
First of all, they were wedged in between the ice cream and the cake. Which I thought was a real jerk move on their part. Like, “Oh, hey there, we’re totally just like ice cream and cake. Just more rice-y. And more glutinous-y. You should try us.”
Besides, I had my fair share of glutinous rice ball treats in Japan, and I can’t say I was an instant fan. It’s definitely an acquired taste. Like after four years of eating the stuff, I could kind of understand the big deal, but the first time I ate a mochi cake stuffed with red beans, I was like, “Seriously, Japan? You call this a dessert? I really don’t think so. And what is that on the inside? Beans?! Gah! Are you trying to kill me?! I’m going to need some whipped cream to get that taste out of my mouth like right now.”So, yeah, I wasn’t expecting to like glutinous rice balls… at least not right away or anything.
But, after a few weeks of staring curiously at them in the grocery store, I thought, “Hey, why not buy a packet or two? You know, give them a whirl? If anything, I can write about them on the blog. That is if I’m not too busy gagging. Or pouring whipped cream into my face trying to get that taste out of my mouth.”
I was still skeptical even after I’d got them home and popped a few into a pot of boiling water. Because, really, everyone knows that desserts should not be boiled. At the very least, they should be deep-fried. And then covered in whipped cream, crushed nuts and chocolate drizzle.
All my skepticism was tossed out the window, though, when I tasted the first one.
And now I know how people totally get addicted to crack. They’re all like, “Me? Hardcore drugs? Umm, I don’t think I’m going to like it. Okay, maybe just a little. You know, for the blog.”
So, I hope you’re enjoying this post because, seriously, I’ve got the glutinous rice ball addiction bad. I’ll probably need to go to rehab or something.The grocery store near my house stocks all kinds glutinous rice balls in different flavors like coconut and strawberry and ones that look like they might be full of pork. I’ve mostly been sticking to the black sesame ones since I’m a big fan of black sesame. Besides, I really don’t want to risk getting addicted to even more flavors as I can’t fit into my pants as it is.
I did go a bit crazy once, and I tried the peanut ones, which were also pretty tasty. Even if they were called this:
In order to help China out a bit, I thought I’d come up with a few alternative English names for glutinous rice balls… you know, names that might roll off the tongue a bit better…. even if your tongue happens to be crammed full of glutinous rice balls like mine usually is.
Here are just a few of my suggestions:
- Amazing Rice
- Heaven Morsels
- Forget-about-ever-being-able-to-fit-into-your-pants-again Balls
(I realize that last one is already taken, but just go with it, China.)Plus, what’s the deal with these models on the packaging? I mean, you can see their neck bones and stuff.
These women should not be endorsing dessert. They don’t look anything like the dessert-eating type. In fact, I bet they’re the kind of people who say ridiculous things like, “Wow, this cupcake is so huge. I couldn’t possibly finish it all by myself,” or “I’m just going to eat fruit for dessert.”
What they need is a cover model who looks like she’s been around the dessert case a few times, if you know what I mean.
Like, umm, this girl:
Am I right or am I right?
Besides, I could really use another job. After all, I’m going to have to pay for my new glutinous rice ball habit somehow.Your turn: what food did you try that you were surprised you actually liked?